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What should I do?

My daughters dad has been absent from my daughters life since she was one hasn't had any interest in seeing her or paying support. He's calling my mom's house. I think he's wanting to see our daughter now... I don't know what to do my daughters almost 5, she doesn't know him and he came back into her life a few years ago just for a week and left again. I want to do what's best for her I'm afraid she's just gonna be let down again.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:51 PM on Apr. 7, 2009 in General Parenting

Answers (8)
  • If he has not been in her life and has had no contact you can get his rights taken away after 1 year. Make him prove himself to you first before bringing your daughter into it and if need be get a protective order to keep him away until then if you feel he could take her or something.
    brailynsmama08

    Answer by brailynsmama08 at 1:53 PM on Apr. 7, 2009

  • I would make him prove himself. I would talk to him. It sounds like you haven't returned his calls to see what he wants. Start there.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:56 PM on Apr. 7, 2009

  • I would let her see for herself what type of father he is. If he decides to stay and be a part of her life, then that's great...I think every child should know who their parents are!! If he decides that he wants to still be a bum, then at least she will know that's what he is. She won't have incorrect expectations of him...she won't day dream of who he possibly could be. It may be hard for her to go through this, but something like this a child should be sheltered from. If you refuse to let him see her...she will start asking questions eventually. She may resent you for not allowing her to meet her father. She may go off on her own and try to find him. It may be best for you to supervise his visits with her...allow her time to get to know her father and form her own opinions about him.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:57 PM on Apr. 7, 2009

  • um I mean, they should not be sheltered from...
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:58 PM on Apr. 7, 2009

  • She's 5, it's not up to your daughter!! You are the adult, you have raised her this long, and hasn't he proved himself already?? I would tell him to get an attorney, get supervised visits, then he can prove himself to not only you and your daughter, but to the court as well!! He doesn't deserve a break! Coming from experience, my 12 yr old son hasn't seen his biofather for the past 7 yrs and I have told my son that when he's 18 he can find him if he wants to but for now it's his Fathers responsibility to contact him... We don't have a clue where he is so he will have to do the work! GL
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:04 PM on Apr. 7, 2009

  • Girl you already know what you need to do in this.. Look into your heart and tell him straight up, when she is ten, then let her see and hear the sid3es, dont start bring in men in her life that you know will hurt her and change the way you to are..
    HottMamaRossx2

    Answer by HottMamaRossx2 at 3:19 PM on Apr. 7, 2009

  • if it was my decsion, and my decision only, i wouldnt let him back in to her life..buuuuuuuuuut...if he takes you to court, hes gonna get visitation anyways..judges dont care about the past, whether or not he was there or not, nothing...all they look at is the future and the well being of the child, and in their opinions the well being of a child means 2 parents..which in MY opinion is bullshit!! i regret going after my ex 3 years ago for child support, i hate him being in my daughters life...sooo..yaa you gotta tough decision ahead of ya...wishin ya all the best!!
    alexis_06

    Answer by alexis_06 at 4:15 PM on Apr. 7, 2009

  • He is her daddy....there's no changing that. I believe no matter how much of a screw up a parent is (assuming there's no rape or abuse) they should have the ability to see their children. Talk to him. Explaint he expectations. Tell him he is either in it for the long run or not....no backing out.

    My husband hasn't seen his son in years because of EX GF...not his choice. She is a nut and fills their son's head with garbage. She's doing more harm than good. My husband wants a real relationship with his son....
    ReneeK3

    Answer by ReneeK3 at 5:58 PM on Apr. 7, 2009

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