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Anyone have a high schooler refuse to go to school?

I have a 15 year old ( he will be 16 at the end of the month) who for the past 2 days has had a horrible attitude and been extremally disrespectful, he refused to go to school as he had just gotten back from spring break and said he didn't have clean clothes. So then they were washed monday night. We had bought him some new jeans but took them away becuase of the attitude and then this morning he refused to go to school unless we gave him the jeans. We told him no we are not going to reward your horrible attitude and disrespect. He is as big as we are we can't physically make him go. How do we handle? Suggestions?

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Asked by Anonymous at 3:34 PM on Apr. 7, 2009 in Teens (13-17)

Answers (15)
  • I have 3 kids & the answer is NO'. My oldest is in college & my second oldest is a junior. So I most definitely would not allow that. PERIOD. Teens only get away with what you let em get away with!

    Answer by Me2dznb at 3:36 PM on Apr. 7, 2009

  • One more thing look up boot camps for defiant teens. & as the parent you most definitely can do something about it, to hell with what he's talking about.

    Answer by Me2dznb at 3:38 PM on Apr. 7, 2009

  • Call the truant officer and have them come and get him. If he continues to refuse they will ticket him for truancy. My aunt did this to her son. He had to go to court and she made him pay the ticket out of his own money. I laughed when my aunt told me because she is the one who created the monster of the son he is.

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 3:43 PM on Apr. 7, 2009

  • Yes you can make him go! I dont get this whole we cant make him do something. Thats probably why he dosent respect you. The first thing you do is do not call in sick for him in fact tell the office he is refusing to come to school and it is an unexcused absence some schools will put him in detention or inschool suspension where he can sit and get the work done he has missed. Next you tell him if he refuses to go to school you will call the police. He may not believe you but do it anyway cops will have a talk with him. I seriously think thats as far as you would have to go. Does he have playstation ,xbox or wii? Put them up till he starts improving his attitude. Take his cell if he has one. There are tons of things you could do to get your point across.

    Answer by okmommy08 at 3:43 PM on Apr. 7, 2009

  • How is it that your child is dictating what is going on in your home. My kids know they go unless they are seriously ill. If they are too ill to attend school then they are sick enough they cant get out of bed, cannot watch TV no cell phones no house phones, no gaming...NOTHING but bed and a book. You have to take charge here Mom or this is going to get worse.

    Answer by mamakirs at 3:46 PM on Apr. 7, 2009

  • I'm glad some parents have unyeilding control over their kids. I can well imagine you can't just make him go. Fortunately, I don't have this problem (not yet, at least) but it's like grades - I can even help them study, but I can't make them... and I can't make them make an effort on tests, reports, etc.

    I don't really have advice for you, but as okmommy08 said, I'd wait for the school to call and ask for their help. Also, for sure, I'd take back the pants... give them back if he apoligizes and gets on his way to school. If he persists, if he has a cell phone, PC, games, car that you are paying for, I'd take it away.

    Good luck, and I hope you'll get some more constructive advice from others.

    Answer by PhillyinFrance at 3:59 PM on Apr. 7, 2009

  • Physically you probably couldn't make him go. That does not mean that life can't be hard at home. What else can you take away? Keep taking stuff until he gets up and goes to school. Once he does that he can earn his stuff back.

    I know all these parents are saying you should have more control, and sometimes even the best kid becomes defiant, it sounds easy to say "make him, your the parent" but kids know that you really can't make them, but you can hit them where it hurts and that is thier stuff, if he ends up with only a pillow and a sheet in his room then that was his choice, eventually they get cold and figure it out.

    Answer by luckysevenwow at 4:39 PM on Apr. 7, 2009

  • Ok I am the oldest of 9 including step siblings and a niece and nephew my dad and step mom raised I was afraid to pull anything until I moved out at 17, my youngest step brother who is only 3 1/2 years older than my son pulled EVERYTHING so I can tell you all with perfect kids that not all of what a teen does is because their parents let them get away with it!

    OP-I totally understand not being able to physically force a teen to do what you want. If he refuses to go again call the school and tell them that he is refusing to go to school. There should be a truancy officer or a police officer who will come to your house and get him. You are going to have to take the hard line here and hope he straightens out sooner rather than later. Good Luck and remember there are supports through school, family court and such because your family is not the only one with these types of problems.

    Answer by goaliemom93 at 4:50 PM on Apr. 7, 2009

  • For those who say call the truant officer or have them serve detention. What??? My daughter was going in the front door and out the back. I didn't get a call from the school, not from one of her teachers, nothing. The only way I learned this was happening was when I received her report card 9 weeks later along with a bill for books. They basically took her off the rolls because of non-attendance. We took away everything, we talked , we yelled, we even cried. I called her school counselor who was great. He put her on a waiting list for an alternative high school. That is when everything came out as to why she didn't want to attend her regular high school. There are some scary things that go on in a big school. Most of the staff do not care unless your kid is the scholar or athlete. My daughter went from Ds and Fs to straight As. I say try talking to him and his counselor, dig to get the real reason he hates school. Good Luck

    Answer by CelticFaerie at 9:27 PM on Apr. 7, 2009

  • You need to stop doing his laundry he can do it himself. Teach him!!
    What did he do on his S. break? maybe that could have started his problem.
    Return the pants.
    It sounds that he might be a little spoiled? If my son did that He knows I would pick him up and take him to school and sit there to make sure he stays.

    Answer by gammie at 10:04 PM on Apr. 7, 2009

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