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Ok, what do you think of women saying they talk to your husband because

he is 'safe'? Hubby is a soldier. The females will talk to him, and he finally asked one why. She said because he is 'safe'. They know he's married and we have a family. It kinda bothers me, but not because I think he'd cheat. It bothers me because the females may think that they can get him. And it bothers me because they should be talking to their friends, not my hubby.

Answer Question

Asked by Buffie95 at 3:39 PM on Apr. 7, 2009 in Relationships

Level 2 (13 Credits)
Answers (15)
  • I told him that if they ever try anything, his best bet would be to tell me, right away. And that he would be filling sexual assult/harassment charges.

    Answer by Buffie95 at 3:40 PM on Apr. 7, 2009

  • Don't you get it? Safe means he goes in the same category as her big brother. He won't hit on her because he is happy with you. What is the problem? The other guys are pigs and the females want to stay far away from the pigs. Your guy is giving out the I'm happy vibe and would never cheat on you, so he is safe to hang with. They don't want to "get him." They want to be treated like human beings.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:44 PM on Apr. 7, 2009

  • Maybe they find him safe because they do not find him attractive, not because he is married. I have a guy friend that I am not attracted to at all. He just doesn't appeal to me physically but he is a great guy. My husband knows him too and has no problem with me talking to him. I consider him "safe" but I tell him that I consider him "safe" because my husband knows him. I am not about to tell him it's because he isn't attractive so I don't think it would be awkward.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:44 PM on Apr. 7, 2009

  • Depends on what they are talking to him about. My husband has lots of female friends that call him constantly for advice or just to chat. They even say I love you before hanging up. It does bother me a little, but I know they are like sisters to him. And I trust him. It sounds like you are a little too jealous.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:45 PM on Apr. 7, 2009

  • Get him? I'm confused. When she says "safe" I think of her thinking he's not going to try to get with her. Women are too paranoid about other women wanting their man imo

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:47 PM on Apr. 7, 2009

  • I have been married too a military and have been in myself as well. You wouldnt believe the cheating and affairs that happened. On both sides. Sometimes with close neighbors and coworkers. Ive known girls go to Iraq without their husbands and come back pregnant. Ive known several coworkers who would be married but being deployed would talk to all kinds of women on the internet and get mail and packages from them. I would keep your eyes open. Not that you shouldnt trust him but some women see it as a challenge to cause trouble or break up marriages.To me it seemed like the people who were happy and stable in their marriages went to church.

    Answer by okmommy08 at 3:51 PM on Apr. 7, 2009

  • Are these other women soldiers too?
    I can tell you the men in the military can be a lot worse than those out in the normal world it can be a very strong good ole boy network with lots of crap being given to women. If he is safe that means he is not sexually harrasing them or belittling them. He is safe because he treats them like a normal person. Basically they talk to him to not get hit on and to be respected.
    Women and men can talk to each other with out anything happening.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:52 PM on Apr. 7, 2009

  • I understand how you are feeling.......I think that while they may not be trying to get into a relationship with their "safe" friend now, they will covet what you have and try to get him later. While you totally believe that he is faithful and trustworthy (because he is), the "safe" girl friends will have tried to win your trust and you don't know what they are doing and saying to him behind your back to turn his head away from you and towards them. I don't think its a jealousy thing, I think its an experience thing.

    Answer by slw123 at 3:52 PM on Apr. 7, 2009

  • you sound like a control freak with serious insecurity issues. The man is grown and can handle himself. He doesn't need you playing mommy dearest to him. You TOLD HIM TO TATTLE to Mommy? That's just juvenile. This is the same woman who posted thinking all these women are out to steal her man yesterday aren't you? You are delusional. If he talks with them and is friendly with them then HE is giving them messages that he's available to chat. SO file your charges against HIM, not them.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:57 PM on Apr. 7, 2009

  • I guess it takes another military wife to understand, right? Thanks. And yes, I do "get" it. I also 'get' how they may not find him attractive. But most, not all, women in the military that I have come across sleep with anything that they can. I also 'get' it that some women want what they can't have. I 'get' how sexual harassment charges work way better for women in the military then men. I am in no way trying to start crap, I'm not putting down women in general (in the military).

    Answer by Buffie95 at 3:58 PM on Apr. 7, 2009

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