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ok this is a really hard thing for me to ask cuz i have never said this to anyone...

so PLEASE no bashing.
I am 23 years old and i first time mom. My daughter is almost three and she does not listen to me. Everytime I say anything to her its always "no mom" I have tried every form of dicipline that i can think of and NOTHING works. Sometimes I get soooo upset i feel like crying and i yell at the top of my lungs and I feel like i never wanted this. And sometimes i feel like i just want to leave.....but, the wierd thing is that when i do get a break like on the one day a month when my mil takes her for 4 hours I miss her like crazy. I feel like I am a terrible mother because pretty much all day everyday I just feel like I want her to leave me alone. I really need to know if anyone else feels this way or has and what you did to help yourself. And agian i am going to ask that if you are going to bash please move on. I am already crying just asking this question so i don't think that i could handle rude answers.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 4:01 PM on Apr. 7, 2009 in General Parenting

Answers (11)
  • you are certainly not alone! i feel that way a lot, like i live everyday for nap times and bed times.

    have you read the book "the no-cry discipline solution"? its really good...
    llansky

    Answer by llansky at 4:03 PM on Apr. 7, 2009

  • no i haven't read that....I will look it up thanks!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:06 PM on Apr. 7, 2009

  • I think everyone feels that way at some point... especially if you're stuck in the house/at home all the time.. everyone needs a break from the everyday, moms and non-moms alike. You got anybody that can come over for about an hour every other day? Or hell, pack her up with you and go somewhere. Go outside, go walking, anywhere to get your schedule mixed up a little.

    Mabey you and her can plant a little garden... My kids and I garden every year...

    Don't feel so bad... you're not alone, trust me. And we've all yelled at our kids and felt horrible afterwards.
    Gremlyn

    Answer by Gremlyn at 4:06 PM on Apr. 7, 2009

  • OH honey. take a couple deep breathes. I went through that in all honesty in the begining and still some days -I know its hard to admit since there are so many people who seem so Sure of themselves as parents and I've even talked to my mom about this and she has agreed that sometimes feelings of wanting something else and not to be a mom anymore is normal But that also means that what you are doing right now and triyng is not working and that means YOU have to figure out what needs to change so you are happy with your little one. Its an exhausting full time job. But what I did was started bringing my son to free childrens activie centers - our community has a place for $2 every monday he can go play with other kids and I saw how other parents were to their kids and try to learn from it and I ask questions ALL the time 0- maybe there is even counseling you can go to to learn new parenting skills?? IDK - good luck sweety,.
    maxsmom11807

    Answer by maxsmom11807 at 4:06 PM on Apr. 7, 2009

  • You are definately not alone!!! I think we all feel like that sometimes (some of us more than others). I have 3 kids --- ages 11, 7, and 2 1/2. I ahd my first one when I was 19, and then I was a single mom to him for a couple of years. I can't even begin to count the days that I felt just like you.
    I think the most important thing is to be persistant and consistant. Don't take "no" for an answer...really don't make it a question...let her know that she doesn't even have that option. I know it's hard, but try not to let it show that her backtalking is bothering you. Repeat what it is you want in a firm voice...not screaming and not begging her either. And if saying "no" gets her her way one time, she'll try it every time! So be prepared to not accept it!
    If you need anymore encouragement, or just feel like venting to someone, you can PM me.
    amy_k_in_pa

    Answer by amy_k_in_pa at 4:16 PM on Apr. 7, 2009

  • You are defineltly not alone. Trust me its normal to have those feelings it doesnt mean you are a bad mom. Just be consistent with your Little one, whether you spank or do time outs etc, make sure you keep up with what your doing on a daily basis.GOOD LUCK!!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:32 PM on Apr. 7, 2009

  • thanks for the advice everyone......My doctor gave me welbutran (sp) to try but, I am very scared about going on an anti depressent has anyone ever been on it and had sucess?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:37 PM on Apr. 7, 2009

  • Have your tried postive Reinforcement. It has worked wonders for my 3 year old. When she does something good reinforce that with praise (no treats) and once she realizes how great it is to please mommy she will continue. Redirect unwanted behavior. We do time-outs as well. Good luck!
    Mom2Just1

    Answer by Mom2Just1 at 6:05 PM on Apr. 7, 2009

  • Sweetie, you aren't a bad mom. My 3 year old has a listening problem too. I think alot of it has to do with age. (Beacuse I certianly don't let her get away with murder.) Although for my sanity I have learned to pick my battles. It'll get better just stay firm and don't give in. GL.
    evilabbysmom

    Answer by evilabbysmom at 6:16 PM on Apr. 7, 2009

  • i tried welbutrin, it didn't work for me, but a lot of people have success with it. i am now on celexa and doing much better. i'm on meds for post-partum depression (it was pretty severe) and i also go to a ppd support group when i can (hubby is deployed so i can't go too often)
    llansky

    Answer by llansky at 6:37 PM on Apr. 7, 2009

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