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who thinks it's ok for you husband to have a lady friend and you never knew about or anything about her?

Me and husband almost split up because I got angry because he would delete messages from this lady I never knew about It intill I looked up his phone bill and found he was doing that it upseted me that he had this friendship behind my back well I told him I wasn't comfortable with this friendhip because of want he did and I told him to lose her friendship with her or lose me and he didn't want to lose her friendship do he left I mean how should I take that hrs back now because he wants me too meet her and I am or should I?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 4:40 PM on Apr. 7, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (9)
  • Stand your ground girl..You are not even sure if this women is a lover of his or not. Sounds fishy to me. Why is he hiding this lady friend? Sound wrong to me.
    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 4:44 PM on Apr. 7, 2009

  • If he chose her over you in the first place I would bid his ass farewell!
    No I would not be ok with him hiding anything from me.
    I think that if it was innocent then he would not have felt the need to hide her
    heather.darin

    Answer by heather.darin at 4:45 PM on Apr. 7, 2009

  • Yes that would bother me, to put it lightly. If a man and a woman are truly friends than the wife should ALWAYS know and be involved all the time. I would go meet her and see what kind of vibe you get from her and seeing the two of them together. You may be able to tell if its platonic or more just by seeing her. Plus, arent you really interested in seeing what she looks like? lol

    Dh should have been open, but dont crucify him yet. Let him explain, meet her then think it over and make an informed thoughtful decision about what you are going to do about it.
    mom2twobabes

    Answer by mom2twobabes at 4:45 PM on Apr. 7, 2009

  • Well my husband was texting a girl that I knew but wasn't friends with. I didn't know it at the time b/c he would do it and erase it so I wouldn't see stuff. Well one night while laying in bed at 11:00 his phone buzzed and he jumped to get it. He said it was his nephew (not knowing that I knew his nephew didnt have texting on his phone) Well the next day I went thru the phone bill to find out who he had been calling a lot and come to find out it was this girl. She was having problems with her husband & they would just talk (yeah right) I let him know quickly that he would either never speak to her again or we were thru and he hasn't talked to her since. That has been 2 1/2 years ago and I still check his phone bill to see if there are numbers I don't know. All I can tell you is there is some reason he is talking to her & won't let her go. Good Luck
    momwifelove

    Answer by momwifelove at 5:28 PM on Apr. 7, 2009

  • By the way - I would tell him you are thru and don't look back b/c there is something going on if he won't give her up for you!
    momwifelove

    Answer by momwifelove at 5:28 PM on Apr. 7, 2009

  • Well, its not really about this lady friend is it?
    I mean the root of the problem is security and trust in YOUR marriage.
    If you dont feel comfortable meeting her, you dont have to. YES, your husband should concider you more, BUT, its never too late to turn this around.
    Remind him without words that its you two first befor anyone else. hugs
    hope it works out :)
    aMbeR012005

    Answer by aMbeR012005 at 5:39 PM on Apr. 7, 2009

  • well he isn't want to choose at all he said because that is not who he is he won't choose between a friendship and his wife that ishiuld trust him
    Happy2bemom969

    Answer by Happy2bemom969 at 6:19 PM on Apr. 7, 2009

  • Your husband should trust you to accept his "friend" if she really is just a friend. There is never a good reason to hide a friendship from someone you're in a relationship with. It leads to alot of problems, your husband should have been honest from the get go about his friendship. Personally I would want to meet his "friend".... but that's something is utimately up to your emotions on situation.
    A wife shouldn't be held accountable for her lack of trust if her husband isn't completely open. He should always put you first before any friendship. He's married to you, not her. My husband and I have given up certain friendships that have made the other uncomfortable.
    lilmommy0416

    Answer by lilmommy0416 at 10:10 PM on Apr. 7, 2009

  • If he wants you, he will give up the friendship with her. You drew a line in the sand, he crossed it. Now you must decide what exactly to do about it. It is unacceptable for him to have a female friend that he is hiding from you. A respectful husband would never choose a friend over his wife unless he has already checked out of his marriage. Run, don't walk to a counselor.
    fawn321

    Answer by fawn321 at 8:12 AM on Apr. 8, 2009

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