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What would you do if....

Okay so my stepmother (basically my 2nd mom) Her mother passed away in October. From a tumor. Her parents had been together her whole life. Well I guess her dad (my step-grandfather) Is taking it really bad. He called my stepmom and her sister today.. saying hes getting married IN MAYand expects them to be at the wedding..keep in mind she is still grieving the loss of her mother. My stepmom and her sister are crushed.. I told my stepmom that he is just trying to distract himself and doesnt know what he is doing. I feel so bad for her.. I dont know what else to do or say?

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Asked by misswhite at 4:45 PM on Apr. 7, 2009 in Relationships

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Answers (4)
  • I'm sorry. This is tough. Men (although not all men) don't really know how to handle being alone. It's not that he's over her death, but he's trying to get over it by marrying someone else. I think it would be beneficial to be supportive of him even if you don't agree with his decision. Your step-mom should tell him that she disagrees with him if she does, but try to remember that he is also in mourning even if he doesn't show it. This is his way of dealing with things.

    Answer by lowencope at 4:57 PM on Apr. 7, 2009

  • There are a lot of grieving widows who decide to get married quickly after a spouse has passed. Some were already having an affair and decided to marry the mistress and then there are the ones that simply marry because they cannot take the loneliness. Maybe your step grandfather is lonely and needs the companionship of another to help him get through his grieving process...

    Answer by treasured_hope at 4:57 PM on Apr. 7, 2009

  • We all grieve in our own way. He's obviously one who can't deal with being alone during his grief. Wish the man well and go to the wedding. The deceased wife would have wanted him to be happy. She probably knew he wouldn't deal well with her death and told him to find someone. We never know what folks discuss before death. It is no disrespect to the deceased.

    Answer by admckenzie at 4:58 PM on Apr. 7, 2009

  • I have been in a similar situation with my husband's (adopted) dad. All I could do was say you know he misses her and you know how lonely he is so maybe this is for the best b/c what would happen if he was alone all the time. Also I know that my Great Grandfather committed suicide after my Great Grandmother passed away b/c he couldn't handle being alone. It was about 6 months afterwards and he just couldn't handle it. I would rather them be happy than to harm themselves or be unhappy and depressed. Good Luck its not a easy thing to deal with but you have to know that he is trying to grieve also.

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:23 PM on Apr. 7, 2009

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