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rude stepdaughter

How would you deal with a rude and disrespectful 14 yo SD. We do not get along. She calls me very rude names and is disrespectful. She and her mother have told us several times now that the SD will not see or speack to her dad. She now refuse to see her dad till I leave my home for the weekend or divorce her dad. I have not left, therfore she has been to our house once since Oct. and only to pick up her xmas gifts. I just found out she will be going over to my in laws for Easter. Usually we give gifts but we did not buy one for her. Do we have a family talk or just go through the day as if nothing has happened the last several months? I am confused on what I should do?

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Asked by metromom70 at 7:09 PM on Apr. 7, 2009 in Teens (13-17)

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Answers (3)
  • Well first of all if your husband is not getting his parental rights you should inform the courts. This happened to my dad where his son and daughter would NEVER come over unless it was on a holiday when he was supposed to be seeing them every weekend. If there is no abuse from his side going on and she is not being mistreated she HAS to be there whether she wants to or not. Secondly I would let your husband handle her. Let him know you are not going to be disrespected and that she needs to grow up and start accepting that her daddy is married to another woman. Let him decide how to punish her if she continues to treat you badly. As for not buying her a gift for Easter, if everyone else is getting gifts and she doesn't get one, it is only going to make her feel more iscolated and cause more problems. I know she doesn't deserve one but maybe you should rethink that?

    Answer by Ash9724 at 7:16 PM on Apr. 7, 2009

  • Its just going to make you look spiteful if you don't buy her a gift. I know she's being a pain in the ass, but aren't most 14 year olds? It sounds like maybe her mother could be fueling this. Maybe you could just go to her and be like, I'm not trying to be your mom, but I'm married to your father...I don't know. I didn't get along well with my stepmother at first, I mean I was a real brat, but eventually it worked out, it just takes awhile for everyone to adjust.

    Answer by metalhealthmama at 7:19 PM on Apr. 7, 2009

  • I would not buy her a gift. Just tell her it is good to see her and hope she has a good day.
    You three need to go to family therapy.

    Answer by gammie at 9:48 PM on Apr. 7, 2009

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