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can i get in trouble for this?

has anyone had a baby and not told their SO? im almost divorced from my husband and i had my baby a few months ago...the last i heard from him he didnt even think the baby was his and wanted to sign over his rights. now theyre trying to say they can get me in trouble for not telling him. he moved and idk where his gf and him live and he got a new number. i could have gone through his family but i wanted to talk directly to him since they dont like me. plz dont bash...he turned out to be a horrible person and my baby is much better off with me and my bf....hes in the military and treats her like his own. so my question is...can i really get in trouble for not telling him? he knows where i live and hes seen my family around and hasnt asked anything. Has anyone gone through anything like this? im so stressed and could really use some advice :( i love my baby with all my heart and i dont want anything bad to happen.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 10:37 PM on Apr. 7, 2009 in Babies (0-12 months)

Answers (12)
  • if he abanded you then no he left you you can tell the courts that too but i would get a laywer first

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:40 PM on Apr. 7, 2009

  • I dont see why you would you have no real way to get ahold of him.. Plenty of women have babies and just say oh you the father and never tell the real one.. I dont think you would I would call a lawyer and ask though.. I wouldnt think so but thats just me

    Answer by TristansMommy16 at 10:47 PM on Apr. 7, 2009

  • I don't think so, but I don't know for sure. I would think it was abondoment on his part. The man should know how to do some math and figure out that the baby was born. Without notifying him you can't get CS, but it doesn't sound like you care about that.

    Answer by Natsnumberthree at 11:29 PM on Apr. 7, 2009

  • no i dont care about that at all. were doing fine and she has everything she needs and more. her closet is bigger than mine lol.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:31 PM on Apr. 7, 2009

  • It's really a stick with two ends. some say we are the women and it's our choice to tell them or not. some say that men have a right to know. you mentioned that he knew that you were pregnant and didn't believe that baby was his right? so you did tell him. you better of diging some dert on him and taking full costody of your baby. he's probably just want to screw with you and that's why te says that you be in trouble. does he know your number? I would change....defenetly talk to a lawyer.

    Answer by DaryaK at 11:32 PM on Apr. 7, 2009

  • You defenetly not responcible to tell him that baby was born...when you get pregnant that's a nice thing to do... but when they born...helll no you can't get in trouble. If he wanted to know he would as for due date and keep up with that

    Answer by DaryaK at 11:35 PM on Apr. 7, 2009

  • he knew around when i was due. hes ran into my family members numerous times in the last few weeks and actually ran away from them instead of asking questions. hed rather spend his money on his gf who doesnt work and her kid and his drugs and alcohol...hes underage...than to worry about us so i figured if he hasnt contacted me then its his loss. i know that she should know her father but hes not a good influence. hes gotten a dozen speeding tickets in 2 years...numerous accidents...2 felonies..and the drinking and he cheated and had his gf move into our apt two days after he told me to leave. i was in the hospital weeks at a time while pregnant and he didnt care...and i know he knew. i just want to make sure i cant get in trouble for not making a good enough effort to contact him. he sure didnt try.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:04 AM on Apr. 8, 2009

  • If he knew you were pregnant that's all he has to know. If he wanted to know if and when you had the baby he should have contacted you. If he was a real man he would've contacted you to see how the pregnancy was going and what you needed.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:27 AM on Apr. 8, 2009

  • I think you have to look more towards the future and your child. Will you raise your child to believe your current boyfriend is her father? That in itself could cause you problems further down the line - I think lies like that always end up coming out. If you tell her the truth could you lie and sayher father wasn't interested or would you tell her you didn't tell him? What would you do if she wanted to find him? I think this is something you should be considering, perhaps more so than any legal ramifications. I doubt there are any to be honest, except for not being able to claim child support (which you have said you are not interested in). In the UK, the only thing I know is, is that they are considering fining women who put 'father unknown' on the birth certificate so that child support can be claimed from the father not the state. I do sympathise, some men just arent up to the job.

    Answer by mummy2tristan at 7:16 AM on Apr. 8, 2009

  • This what I would do

    I would try to find him andlet him know about the baby. If he still denies her, you can get a paternity test - then he can sign over his rights and your bf (or future husband) can adopt her, I think that is the best scenario. But its your baby and your decision. I do believe he has a right to know she is born and given an opportunity to decide what he wants to do.

    You also need to think about how she will feel when she is 18. She WILL want to know about her bio father. Going and getting paternity tests now would be better, just so everyone knows. You are in a tough situation and I am sorry. Good luck in whatever you decide.

    Answer by ratchetlee at 7:29 AM on Apr. 8, 2009

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