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can i get in trouble for this?

has anyone had a baby and not told their SO? im almost divorced from my husband and i had my baby a few months ago...the last i heard from him he didnt even think the baby was his and wanted to sign over his rights. now theyre trying to say they can get me in trouble for not telling him. he moved and idk where his gf and him live and he got a new number. i could have gone through his family but i wanted to talk directly to him since they dont like me. plz dont bash...he turned out to be a horrible person and my baby is much better off with me and my bf....hes in the military and treats her like his own. so my question is...can i really get in trouble for not telling him? he knows where i live and hes seen my family around and hasnt asked anything. Has anyone gone through anything like this? im so stressed and could really use some advice :( i love my baby with all my heart and i dont want anything bad to happen.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 10:37 PM on Apr. 7, 2009 in General Parenting

Answers (12)
  • I don't think you are going to get into trouble. But your husband could get your military boyfriend in trouble if he wanted to. You are married still, and the military could kick your boyfriend out for dating you. Affairs are not allowed, and when they happen, if reported, people get in trouble.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:40 PM on Apr. 7, 2009

  • i call him my bf on here bc its easier but were just talking at the moment...weve known eachother for a long time.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:42 PM on Apr. 7, 2009

  • If he knew you were pregnant he should have called and you to ask how things were going. He is the one who moved and changed his number it is his responsibility to get a hold of you.

    Answer by goaliemom93 at 10:42 PM on Apr. 7, 2009

  • I don't think you could get in trouble cause he's a lousy father. My dad rarely had anything to do with me when my parents separated (i was 10 years old)...he never tried. I don't think my mom would get in any trouble because my dad sucked. I don't think there is much difference in your case either.


    Answer by momjoy1027 at 10:47 PM on Apr. 7, 2009

  • thats what i thought but i just worry about every little thing. i was busy raising a baby...paying for everything..and plus i had surgery and had to recover. theyre trying to say they can take her away bc i lied. i didnt really lie though...he never came to me. he was too busy with his gf and her kid to worry about any part of my pregnancy or me being in the hospital for most of it.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:48 PM on Apr. 7, 2009

  • Not sure what kind of trouble you can get into.
    I'm say he didn't even think the baby was his, then you say "they can get you in trouble for not telling him." Telling him what? Does he or doesn't he know you had a baby?
    Once you do tell him, get paternity test done to find out for sure if he's the dad. Whether or not you and baby's dad are together, the baby deserves to know his father. good luck.

    Answer by mamaada at 10:48 PM on Apr. 7, 2009

  • he told me he didnt even think the baby was his. he just found out that i had her. hes not on the birth certificate but our divorce decree hasnt come in yet. idk if hes going to go to domestic relations bc hes not going to want to pay...he hates working.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:51 PM on Apr. 7, 2009

  • I am confused. If in fact, he is the biological father of the child and it is proven through a paternity test, he could make your life a living hell. If you know he is the father, he has the right to know, what he does with that info in up to him. Your child has the right to know who her biological father is regardless if he is a looser or not (You choose him to make a baby with, you must face the facts) Then, you call an active duty "my boyfriend" you can get this men in deep trouble for even saying that, is he or isn't he your boyfriend. you are introducing this military guy to your child's life saying he loves her. I am more then confused, I don;t try to bash you or anything is just you decided not to tell the biological father of your child's existence, you choose to call a friend your boyfriend, you introduce this friend of yours into your child's life. See next posting please

    Answer by bebita at 11:33 PM on Apr. 7, 2009

  • Then you ask if you could get in trouble, in my opinion, you are already in trouble. My suggestion is to contact who you think the biological father of this child is and inform him of her existence, if he denies it then ask to have a paternity test done ask him to sign his parental rights to you in the divorce papers and give your child a clean start in life. Make sure you do this things or she will resent you if your ex-decides to come after you for parental rights just to be a jerk.

    Answer by bebita at 11:35 PM on Apr. 7, 2009

  • wow okay. i always told him he was the father...he chose to believe she wasnt. i never once told him he wasnt. and i had no way of contacting him. he moved and changed his number. if he doesnt want to be not going to force him. he doesnt want to pay child support bc he considers it paying me and not the baby and hes very vindictive like that. i have police reports on him and harrassment reports on his gf too. i didnt know until after i married him how bad he really was for me. he moved his gf and her kid into our apt the day after he told me to leave. i told him about being pregnant and he called her a mistake and said i cheated on him. so excuse me for not jumping up and contacting him right away. i figured if he wanted to know he could contact me. i told him when i was due months before when he contacted me. and as for my friend...hes always been a big part of my life.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:00 AM on Apr. 8, 2009

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