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Too many sweets?

My MIL is constantly feeding son junk when its her day to watch him (two days a week.) He always has juice with lunch with her, and sweets and junky snacks all day. Today he had a large sized slushie with his lunch, along with a pack of some kind of candy and a lollipop. He had a large slice of cake for dessert tonight (I didn't know he had the other sweets today.) If it was once a month or something I'd be okay with it, but this kid eats the minimum of dinner to stuff in dessert almost every night, and nobody sees anything wrong with this except me. He's a computer and tv addict (he gets minimal time on these with me but Daddy and Grandma would - and often do - let him play or watch all day) so, though he doesn't have any weight problems right now, I feel that it could be an issue if things continue this way. Am I being extreme in my views or should I try harder to get her to understand that he should be eating less junk?

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Asked by Anonymous at 11:44 PM on Apr. 7, 2009 in Diet & Fitness

Answers (8)
  • No, you should have control over what your son eats! (thats part of being a good parent). Make sure he brings a lunchbox with snacks (like carrot sticks, string cheese, flavored water, wholewheat preztels) when he goes to visit your MIL. Stress to her you are trying to watch what your son eats and want him to eat healthy and like healthy foods. Of course if hes offered a slushie and cake he will want that over carrots and water, so do your best to convince MIL he needs to stick to healthy foods.

    Answer by serioussifL at 11:48 PM on Apr. 7, 2009

  • Oh. She lives with us. ...Forgot to mention that. ..And don't say don't buy that stuff. Because SHE buys most of the junky snacks, and got the candy when they went out today.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:52 PM on Apr. 7, 2009

  • Well if she is living WITH you she should respect the rules of the house. And especially the rules regarding your parenting. She needs to take your lead or find a new home. Sorry, harsh but your sons health is important and takes priority.

    Answer by MamaChamp at 12:13 AM on Apr. 8, 2009

  • Never feel badly or apologize for wanting the best for your child. Remember that this kind of sugar intake spikes that childs insulin to the point that its very harmful to his health. The sugar drinks will rot and etch the teeth, it fills his little body up so that he feels full and then won't eat the good food that the body needs to grow strong, and it makes his energy go UP and then down all during the day. I battled this with my sister in law who would hand my children snacks and treats right up to the meal. She never understood how it played havoc with her own kids health. One of her children was diagnosed as starving! When asked by the nurtritionist what they gave the child to eat, they stated "She only eats hot dogs and pizza." My GOSH! She's only 2. The child eats ONLY what the parents offer. What a shame, and who to blame? This household was a very good upper middle class family with money to buy good food.

    Answer by lifeasinoit at 8:36 AM on Apr. 8, 2009

  • I would go about changing the house rules this way: Sit down one evening, after you have convinced your husb. this is the right path of health for the child and say "Mom, you know we are so happy to have you living with us. We feel like its a benefit for little bobby to have his grandmother in the home. Not many children get that opportunity. At this point in bobbys life I need to make some particular boundaries that is going to help him grow strong. His father and I feel strongly that sugar is not best for his nutrition right now. We know that diabetes is very harmful, and feeding large amounts of sugar might facilitate these problems. The dentist told us that sugar will rot the teeth. We know that his insulin will go up and down and make him feel absolutely terrible during the day, and we want him to feel his best without emotional ups and downs. We know you love him too, so our plan is to eliminate all sugar."

    Answer by lifeasinoit at 8:40 AM on Apr. 8, 2009

  • Have all expectations that no more sugar will be given. Your mil will likely test this new boundary so think ahead of how you will handle this. I would say, "Oh my, mom, you'll need to ask me first if this is something that bobby can have." I would not make a big deal in front of the child, or it will look like you are the bad one. Instead, always confront her without emotion, but don't stop saying anything. Often parents overstep their boundaries with their adult children. So she'll need to be trained the same way you would train your child, which is to make mention of it each and every time candy, sodas, juices or desserts are handed out.

    Be sure and be reasonable, tho. If your family enjoys a nice dessert after dinner, and esp. after bobby has shown he can eat a good meal, then make it a "treat" to have ONE dessert after dinner. That way everyone is happy.

    Answer by lifeasinoit at 8:45 AM on Apr. 8, 2009

  • girlfriiiend! u need to tell her she needs to respect ur wishes as a mother! kids DO nOT need sugar all day everyday. its not a need, kids already are highly active, and energetic. of course kids like suagr, its a young thing. however she is just making it seem its okay. this could lead to other problems, like staying up later at night and ruining his normal sleep. being young he needs AT least 8 hours of sleep. being a CNA although he may be sleeping it will affect him, and catch up with him as he grows. its not healthy what so ever. and n=u need to stress to her its important to u .. dont know what ur husband says about this but i know how mine is, he would say hes a kid and young let him have fun, but its quite different if u are wanting the total best for him. good luck

    Answer by NewLady1 at 2:56 PM on Apr. 8, 2009

  • NewLady - your last sentence - that's EXACTLY what my husband says. That and I often think he just assumes his mom knows what is best, even if she's shown otherwise.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:40 PM on Apr. 8, 2009

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