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Was I selfish?

My MIL asked me what I was doing for mother's day. I told her that DH, DS and I are going to lunch and do family stuff. She threw a BIG fit. She wants her son to be with her all day. I told DH that I have not had a mothers day to myself with them. Why can't you do something this year with me. You can do something with your mom for dinner. We don't even go to my moms for mothers day.


Asked by Anonymous at 12:24 AM on Apr. 8, 2009 in Just for Fun

This question is closed.
Answers (10)
  • No you're not being selfish. You are actually being really generous by agreeing to do dinner with his mother. Show him our answers so he doesn't think you're out of line wanting to spend time with your family (hubby and child) on mothers day!!!!!!!

    Answer by AriMicSun at 12:39 AM on Apr. 8, 2009

  • No! Not at all! It's been three years and I have yet had a mothers day alone with hubby and my son. I might have to take your idea.

    Answer by pinkanfgrl at 12:27 AM on Apr. 8, 2009

  • No, you are not selfish. I can understand her wanting him there for part of the day but you should be with your mother too. You didn't do anything wrong.

    Answer by LaurenKaye29 at 12:28 AM on Apr. 8, 2009

  • No I dont think your selfish, but have you thought about maybe making a new tradition. Like the whole family doing a special brunch that husband/grandpa/kids make? That way she gets to see her son, and he can do something special for both of you, then when it is over you can have the rest of the day to spend together. You could even include your mom if you wanted.

    Answer by 2-1CavWife at 12:33 AM on Apr. 8, 2009

  • You are not being selfish. He should be with you at least part of the day. Seeing as how he helped you become a mother in the first place. If his momma don't like it, too bad. I assume your SD isn't old enough to do something for mom yet, so he can step up.

    Answer by spiritguide_23 at 12:33 AM on Apr. 8, 2009

  • I don't think you're selfish at all. As long as he buys his mom some flowers or calls her or some token of appreciation it should be cool. My brother does that with our mom and then takes off to his GF's moms house. I on the other hand am a divorced mom and my son makes me toast and bread. This is the first Mothers day he knows how to makes eggs so WHO KNOWS! maybe I'll get eggs and toast! We always buy Grandma (my mom who has been there through thick and thin) a gift and we go out to eat and Church. I think you have a right to be celebrated by your son and your hubby. But like I said, you and hubby should just drop off some flowers. JMO.

    Answer by Gigi1969 at 12:40 AM on Apr. 8, 2009

  • Mother's Day is about mothers and children, NOT spouses.  I will be spending all day with my mother and my two son's.  DH will be spending whatever amount of time he wants with his mother.  Your MIL gave birth to your DH and I would honor and respect that.  I'm sorry you don't see your mother.  I do not see this holiday as a couple's day at all.  We have our men just about every day and every night of the year.  I personally think it's selfish not to encourage my DH to spend quality time with his mom and do something special for her.  I get him on Valentine's Day, my birthday, our anniversary, .... oh and pretty much every other day and night of the year!  Sorry, that's my opinion.


    Answer by Anonymous at 12:45 AM on Apr. 8, 2009

  • Put yourself in her shoes, just because he's married and a father doesn't mean he is no longer her son. I think that a compromise is fair, especially if your children are not old enough to do anything for you. Splitting the day in half sounds fair to me, or doing what a PP said about one big meal that honors all the mothers at once. You wouldn't want a future DIL to keep your son from you, so don't do the same to your MIL...

    To me, Mother's Day is about the family showing appreciation for the hard work mothers do for the family all year, and the sacrifices mothers make for their children over their lifetime. It isn't just about the child and mother, fathers are important in the day as well, so you have the right to want to spend time as a family unit on your day...

    Good luck!

    Answer by risonski at 1:12 AM on Apr. 8, 2009

  • I agree with Anom 12:45 mothers day is about mothers and the child that made them mothers now if she expected your child to be with her that day thats another story but let her have her son and you have yours its called mothers day for a reason to celebrate being a mom and to celebrate motherhood its also about the bond between mother and child dh not included. Sorry that my opinion

    Answer by aubrees_mommie at 1:13 AM on Apr. 8, 2009

  • Hmmmm. I hate to admit that an anon (9:45) makes a good point. But OP can not force her hubby to go to his moms if he wants to spend it with the mother of his children. IDK, but on Fathers day my son always makes me a gift because I am also his father,lol. and I always go to the cemetary to visit my daddy. My son once asked me why we were there and I told him,"Just because Papas dead, he is still my daddy dead or alive. He will always be your Papa".

    Answer by Gigi1969 at 1:15 AM on Apr. 8, 2009