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Not sure what to say.....

Well my doctor at my 3 year olds check up a couple of months ago said that it is time to start explaining good touches and bad touches to her. How do I do this? I am so confused on what to tell her. Any one out there that can help? Please.

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Asked by ajksmom at 1:27 AM on Apr. 8, 2009 in Preschoolers (3-4)

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Answers (8)
  • Wow, I would have asked him if you could do her exam next time. You dont tell him how to be a doctor, why should he tell you how to parent. I think that you should do things in your own time, and with what you are comfortable with. I am sure that they have books, but I would have a problem forcing some sexual assault lessons on my toddler. There is nothing wrong with being aware of the dangers, but I think making the parent more aware instead of the children should be the goal.

    Answer by 2-1CavWife at 1:31 AM on Apr. 8, 2009

  • my daughter and i just had this talk. i got advice from a friend with a 12 yr old girl. she went and got paper dolls colored in bathing suits and told her daughter that no one should ask her to touch anywhere under the bathing suits. and that the only person who should touch her under her bathing suit areas where: her, the doctor if her mommy was there, and her mommy when she gave her a bath. i found this to be the easiest way to explain it to my daughter. i told her if anyone else touched her under her bathing suit areas or asked her to touch under theirs she needs to tell mommy right away. hopefully this helps you a bit

    Answer by vabchmommy at 1:32 AM on Apr. 8, 2009

  • I think 3 may be a bit too early. I'm just now having that conversation with my 5yr old and he barely understands it.

    Answer by legalmommy101 at 1:32 AM on Apr. 8, 2009

  • There are tons of resources on Amazon, I had to look after your question.

    Here is one: The Right Touch: A Read-Aloud Story to Help Prevent Child Sexual Abuse (Jody Bergsma Collection)

    Answer by 2-1CavWife at 1:34 AM on Apr. 8, 2009

  • i just don't think its too early. they need to be aware, i would never leave my daughter with someone i don't 100% trust, but what happens when some stranger walks up to her and says something? you don't have to go into extreme detail just let them know. this also ends up covering the fact that she/he shouldn't grab you or other adults in certain areas, or be careful when she hugs a man (for example if my daughter runs up and hugs my friends husband before he gets a chance to bend over her face is in his crotch, not that there is anything there but it makes him uncomtortable so it covers that as well) i just can't see not telling them and then having something happen, that would be awful

    Answer by vabchmommy at 1:37 AM on Apr. 8, 2009

  • We kind of started when we were potty training. We started with no one but Mommy and Daddy should see you in or touch your underwear at first. I like the bathing suit idea.

    I don't think 3 is too early, especially if she's in daycare or preschool. I'm also not sure it was a doctor telling you how to raise your daughter so much as it was a reminder that (unfortunately) these things have to be taught...better earlier rather than later.

    Answer by TiccledBlue at 5:49 AM on Apr. 8, 2009

  • We started with potty training too. I started simply with "no one should see your panties when you are playing" type things. Anything that your panties would cover is YOURS for YOU only. Mommy and Daddy may help you keep clean and may need to look at these areas but you shouldn't let anyone else look at your pantie areas or touch your pantie areas unless Mommy or Daddy says it's OK.

    Answer by kaycee14 at 12:06 PM on Apr. 8, 2009

  • That is a weird thing for a Dr. to say. Of course you should tell you child who should or shouldn't touch her where, but that is none of the Dr.'s business unless you asked him?

    Answer by sweetbabyme at 4:42 PM on Apr. 8, 2009

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