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If your child forgot their homework at school

would you go get it for them? Or vice versa, if they forgot something at home would you bring it to them? Now I have brought neccessities to school when forgotton (coat, lunch) and a couple of months ago I was late to work so I could take my son his assignment book, a worksheet, and have a meeting with his teacher about him not completing his work on time. I've even called the teacher to get the spelling list that he somehow misplaces/loses. Yesterday he forgot his book that he needed to complete an assignment due today and I had reminded him that morning. The teacher said I should come get the book, but I don't think it is my responsibility to drop what I'm doing and drive all the way to the school. I bailed him out a couple of times and now I feel that he needs to be responsible for himself and live with the consequences (he's a 3rd grader) it's not like he didn't know the assignment was due today. What do you think?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 8:22 AM on Apr. 8, 2009 in General Parenting

Answers (15)
  • My mom bailed me out until I was in 6th grade. By the time that they are 12 they should be able to handle the consequences that come with not remembering. If you feel that he needs a little tough love then do it. Only you know what your child needs. Tell the teacher that you implementing a little tough love and that she should do the same. He is old enough to remember to bring assignments home and be able to take them back to school. I wish you luck.
    coala

    Answer by coala at 8:24 AM on Apr. 8, 2009

  • I have done it in the past for my boys. However, I put a stop to it. There are no short cuts in life. Every action has a reaction. I won't always be around.
    Dani32

    Answer by Dani32 at 8:29 AM on Apr. 8, 2009

  • If this is a constant thing with him it could be a power thing. When DS was in 8th grade I lost my job and he was always coming home sick! Took him to the Dr several times because it was always the same nurse called saying he had thrown up but when we got home he was fine! The Dr. said "I think he has a case of I want my Mommy" to have the nurse keep him in school unless she saw/heard him throw up, he was suddenly able to make it through the day!
    Alternatively, he could be distracted and forgetting the assignments. Either way there has to come a point when you say enough is enough, don't bring the stuff or go to school to get his H.W. unless it is something REALLY important, let him get the consequences the teacher gives. Also when DS has h.w. but "forgets" what he needs I take away everything but a book for the time I think it would take to do the assignment b/c if you don't have hw you can play sooner!
    goaliemom93

    Answer by goaliemom93 at 8:33 AM on Apr. 8, 2009

  • I went thru this at the beginning of school this yr. My son is in 2nd grade. The 1st time he "forgot" his homework I did go and get it. When it started to become more frequent I started giving him consequenses ie.. no tv, no video game, early bedtime...... We met with the teacher and talked to him how it is HIS responsability not mine to do his school work. We wrote a note and taped it to his desk that says...Do you have your homework? so at the end of the school day it serves as a reminder to him. It seems to have worked and he has done remarkably well in school this year. Good luck to you!
    tessntylersmom

    Answer by tessntylersmom at 8:46 AM on Apr. 8, 2009

  • I think it depends on what you want most to teach your child. Do you want to most teach him to be independent? Or do you want to most teach him that Mom is someone on whom he can always depend when he is in trouble? I chose the latter, and all my children have turned out to be wonderfully independent adults. Some children are simply more forgetful than others and less gifted at planning and thinking ahead. These are things that can be learned, but not all learn them at the same pace. I wanted my children to know that I would always be available to help them and that they could always depend on me. I still am and they still can. They are now 39, 36, and 31 years old. We have a wonderful relationship. So, you just have to choose what you think is the most important lesson to be learned and go with that.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 8:49 AM on Apr. 8, 2009

  • If my son forgets every now and then, yes I will e-mail the teacher or go to the school and get it for him. Or bring it from home, if that's the case. But, on a regular basis, no I would not. One of the things that being in school should teach kids is responsibility: being responsibile for bringing home things you need to do homework, being responsible for taking things back to school that need to be turned in. To forget once in a while is fine, even adults do that. But, on an every day, every other day, or once a week/month basis, that seems to me like they are expecting that mom or dad or teacher or whoever will bail them out. If they are allowed to think that now, and it continues, then when they are 30, they will still expect someone to bail them out when they get in over their heads.
    tropicalmama

    Answer by tropicalmama at 9:04 AM on Apr. 8, 2009

  • Yea, I would probably do it for them for a bit but if it was constant I would sit down with them and have a serious talk. Make sure when you get his stuff ready for school that everything is in his book bag.
    drpepper73

    Answer by drpepper73 at 9:16 AM on Apr. 8, 2009

  • I've done it with my boys when they were in elemtary school, but now that they are older I won't do it, my daughter who's 7 never forgets shes to scared of getting lunch detention so she puts everything near the door so she won't forget...
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:58 AM on Apr. 8, 2009

  • I made my son a homework folder.. There's a sheet taped to the front if it for mon-fri and it has to be signed by both me and the teacher everyday and checked... If he comes home w/out his work in it then he has to suffer the consequences. He's in the 6th grade so he knows better... He has to be accountable for himself. The folder is just a tool in learning to be responsibile. He never had any problems unitl 6th grade, other Moms and teachers agree it's a 12 yr old thing... I just can't wait for him to get over the puberty hump....
    4x4mum

    Answer by 4x4mum at 10:27 AM on Apr. 8, 2009

  • If this forgetting stuff at school is becoming a reoccuring offence then I say let him take his lumps. You cannot keep enableing him to be irresponsible.
    salexander

    Answer by salexander at 10:36 AM on Apr. 8, 2009

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