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Has anyone had to retain their child in the 1st grade? If so, any suggestions on how to tell her without hurting her feelings and making it a positive in her life?

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Asked by Jensar at 2:01 PM on Jun. 20, 2008 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

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Answers (5)
  • Yep, mine was in 1st when we held her back. I discussed it with her like an adult. I told her that she knows how much she has struggled in 1st grade and that we (teacher and I) felt like she should repeat the 1st grade. I reminded her that she will make new friends and all the fun stuff she did the first time around she gets to do again. I asked if she'd be okay with that and she was very mature about it and said yeah it was okay. Just remember to not let her think it is her fault or that she is stupid.

    Answer by seakla at 3:35 PM on Jun. 20, 2008

  • I was held back a grade in elem. myself. My Mom told me that I would be older than the others and that I would be smarter than the younger ones. This really helped me. It didn't take long for me to realize that I was not struggling anymore and I realized it was good for me.

    Answer by ski2dawn at 6:54 PM on Jun. 20, 2008

  • my son was held back in 1st grade and he was heartbroken. he had to go to summer school and it still didn't help. what i did was reasurre him about how smart he is. he thought he was dumb for not going to the 2nd grade. like his teacher said and i agreed, he just wasn't ready for the first grade like he should've been. i would just make sure you daughter knows she's a very smart, bright girl and maybe it wasn't her time to shine yet. this could be the year for her to shine and shine big. i'm sure she'll smile and like that idea. my son did

    Answer by MommaSyrup07 at 1:09 PM on Jun. 21, 2008

  • Thank you all so much! I really appreciate these answers. It is really difficult on my part as you all know, however, it is comforting to know that she should be fine with this. Thank you again!!!

    Answer by Jensar at 9:25 AM on Jun. 23, 2008

  • We held back our son in the first grade and he is just fine with it. We moved to a different state with a better school system and explained to him that he will learn more this way. As this school year went on I just kept telling him, "see aren't you glad you are back in 1st grade that way you can learn this stuff now?" and he always replies with a yes I am. I wouldn't want to be the only one in 2nd not knowing what was going on.

    Answer by kimigriffith at 10:56 AM on Jun. 23, 2008

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