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ok, me and BF have been seeing each other about 10 months. he is a PACKRAT deluxe. i am clean and try to keep everything neat and tidy. we are fixing to move in together, he has to store his things cause i cannot allow them to overtake my house! he knows he has to store them - he has basically lived wiht me for last 7 months anyway - he does not NEED those things! can this work or am i crazy and asking for trouble?

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pammd

Asked by pammd at 10:58 AM on Apr. 8, 2009 in Relationships

Level 2 (12 Credits)
Answers (8)
  • No you are right being this way if you don't do anything now it will get worse.
    Stick to your guns or you will be in trouble.
    You don't want to be like those people that have junk all up inside their garage (hoarders) I believe they are called. Not that I think you would allow it to go that far. GL
    good point to bring up.
    Butterfly1108

    Answer by Butterfly1108 at 11:06 AM on Apr. 8, 2009

  • I am a huge packrat but I am also a neat/clean freak. I have everything organized and stored away neatly. There is a balance but you will both need to find it. You can't be so anal and he can't be so unorganized. Find a compromise. Neither of you is right or wrong in your ways, you just need to learn to find a good balance that is somewhere in the middle.
    DDry

    Answer by DDry at 11:09 AM on Apr. 8, 2009

  • I don't think you are wrong to ask him to store his stuff. But be prepared once a packrat always a packrat :) (my sister married one and he hasn't changed in 14 years) Don't think that just because he has moved in with you he will change. It will take work to make sure this does not become a constant argument between y'all and that resentments build up.
    Tawanda74

    Answer by Tawanda74 at 11:17 AM on Apr. 8, 2009

  • LOL!!! Hubby and I are exactly like you guys!! My rule is that if I haven't used it in a year, then it goes. His rule is "What if we'll need it one day?"

    The best strategy I've found is the argument that we both need space, and his stuff cannot encroach on my space and vice versa. We also have "our" space that cannot be cluttered. So, for instance, in the garage, he has his side, and I have my side. I choose to park my car on my side. He can do whatever he wants with his side, and I'm not allowed to say one word about it. However, anything that encroaches on my side gets thrown out. He's been pretty good about it-- and when he's accumulated too much stuff, he goes through it himself and decides what needs to be donated, thrown out, etc.

    Another strategy-- I made him watch the show about cleaning your house on HGTV-- it was hilarious to watch him see people like him on tv!!!
    Busimommi

    Answer by Busimommi at 11:22 AM on Apr. 8, 2009

  • My fiance's kind of a pack rat (he so gets it from his mom, although she's many times over worse). He doesn't like to throw things away, so I do it for him and he doesn't even miss it. Aside from sentimental items, if it's sat for a year and not been touched, I chuck it! I hate clutter. I've got enough crap to keep organized without useless junk laying around. My fiance does know I do this, so I'm not doing it behind his back.
    xraydri

    Answer by xraydri at 11:38 AM on Apr. 8, 2009

  • haha my husband is the same as busimommi, that is hilarious, i dont know why guys are like that, my husband has an engine that goes to a car we dont even have!!! his reasoning is he might need it one day. My husband had to get a single little garage to put his toys and stuff that wouldnt fit in our regular 2 car garage. some guys are just like this love him for who he is and the toys he wants, its kind of funny. im actually going to take busimommi's advice about splitting up the garage my laundry room is in there surrounded by truck parts!! I always joke saying his stuff is bigger than our house. my dad is not like this and i asked him why, and he said some guys are just like that, its not a big deal, it probably just means he is handy and see's alot of potential in everything he has
    emleejane

    Answer by emleejane at 11:44 AM on Apr. 8, 2009

  • OP here.... he has a 60 thousand plus comic book collection that just sits in boxes. valuable? maybe, but no value to my life or his that i see just sitting in boxes collecting dust. he has clothing that used to belong to his dad (passed away 5yr ago) ok sentimental value? maybe but save a favorite sweater or something, not his whole wardrobe. what do you do with it?!?!? i have tried to make him understand that he is making a burden on his children by keeping worthless stuff. one day his kids will have to go thru all that and guess where its gonna go? in the trash! save everyone the trouble and chuck it now! and the BS stuff that you might need one day? heck by the time you have a need for it, it will be outdated and you will have to spend money on a new one anyway. all the clutter and junk that takes up space everywhere takes up space in your mind too.. eeewww - i aint got room! LOL
    pammd

    Answer by pammd at 12:09 PM on Apr. 8, 2009

  • Wow, that is just like the boyfriend I just kicked out. LOL he left but all his stuff is still here. Wish I would of never let him bring his things here in the first place. His name isn't paul is it. LOL
    nannabart

    Answer by nannabart at 12:15 PM on Apr. 8, 2009

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