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My fiance wont kiss my son!

My son is 4 years old and very affectionate. He plays the "kissing game" where he will come "steal" all your kisses just by giving a bunch of kisses. Its adorable and I love it, but my fiance (who we have lived with for 3 months, and has been in my sons life since he was a baby) wont kiss my son. He gives him hugs and kisses at bed time, but he says he wont play this "kissing game" because it is weird, and he said "What do you think his dad would say if Dustin told him that he plays a kissing game with me?" I say who cares, if he asks me I will just tell him what it is. I know he loves my son, there is no doubt in my mind, but my question is do a lot of guys act this way? Any one else who is married to or dating someone that is not the father of their children, are they the same way? Or am I weird for thinking its weird?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 2:24 PM on Apr. 8, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (8)
  • Don't try to force him into something he is uncomfortable with. If you are certain he cares for your son, then stop worrying about it.
    Marwill

    Answer by Marwill at 2:26 PM on Apr. 8, 2009

  • Well I think that your fiance is wise by setting up some boundaries. He doesn't even want to give the impression of being inappropriate with your son and that should be commended.

    Your fiance has the right to not do anything that he doesn't feel comfortable doing, remember, it is his body and it is also a valuable opportunity to teach your son about having control over his own body. Your son should know that he is entitled to say no, I don't feel comfortable doing this, in the same token so does your fiance. Don't take it personal, it doesn't sound as if your fiance is rejecting your son or hurting his feelings or self esteem on purpose, it sounds as if your fiance is not as affectionate as you are.
    bebita

    Answer by bebita at 2:31 PM on Apr. 8, 2009

  • Hey!! I posted the ? and just wanted to let you know that I have not said anything to him about it, or tried to force him to be more affectionate. I do understand he has to have boundaries, I was just worried that maybe he was just kind unaffectionate towards kids in general, because I would really like to have a child with him.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:48 PM on Apr. 8, 2009

  • I'm with your Fiance. It's not like he doesn't show any type of affection towards your son. I agree that the dad might get the wrong idea and be angry, even though it won't bother you it might bother him having his son kiss another man.

    cynprz

    Answer by cynprz at 2:49 PM on Apr. 8, 2009

  • I understand what you are saying..
    It would hurt me if my fiance did not play that with my daughter who is 5.
    If the tables were reversed he would want you to play the kissing game, it is
    connecting with your son.
    I would express my feelings with him..
    At one time I had a similair problem, with him hugging my daughter..
    It took him some time but he has realized the importance of hugging my daughter..
    good luck.
    Dannee

    Answer by Dannee at 3:08 PM on Apr. 8, 2009

  • well you said that he hugs and kisses him good night... that says alot right there. in this day and age (as sad as it is) people are accused of being inappropriate for the slightest things. your guy just may be saving you from an investigation by the child welfare services. you son could innocently say something about your fiance playing a kissing game to the wrong person (his dad, dads parents, daycare provider - who knows!) and BAM. it is sad, but as long as your finace is loving toward him all the time in every way, i would accept it.
    pammd

    Answer by pammd at 3:16 PM on Apr. 8, 2009

  • I think as long as he is affectionate, that's what matters. I think he has valid concerns and a right to set boundaries.
    riotgrrl

    Answer by riotgrrl at 3:35 PM on Apr. 8, 2009

  • Most men that are around boys your son age, will not do the "kissing" thing AT ALL. It's handshakes...it has nothing to do with him being affectionate or not.
    mom2mybabes

    Answer by mom2mybabes at 4:39 PM on Apr. 8, 2009

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