Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Do you kids Fear You or Respect you?

Which is better? I would rather my kids respect me (I am soo working on), I never want them to fear me. I never feared my parents, just loved them sooo much that I respected them to the fulliest. I was not an Angel but I did my best to show them the utt most respect, and expected everyone else too, whether they were there or not.

Answer Question
 
KFree907

Asked by KFree907 at 2:40 PM on Apr. 8, 2009 in General Parenting

Level 20 (8,947 Credits)
Answers (11)
  • Neither. She will be three in May. She loves me though. Eventually she will respect me, but she's a bit young. She doesn't fear us.
    kara_g.

    Answer by kara_g. at 2:47 PM on Apr. 8, 2009

  • Respect me. I've never given them a reason to fear me as I've never hit or screamed at the excessively. Having gone through all that as a kid, there's no way I'd rather them fear me.
    JackalsWife

    Answer by JackalsWife at 2:48 PM on Apr. 8, 2009

  • i think it should be respect with a bit of fear. not fear of their physical saftey but just OMG if i do this my mom would kill me kind of thing (like as in grounded or whatever) i respected my parents but i feared them too, i was never hit or verbally abused but you can bet if i did something dumb in school or was caught doing stupid stuff i was afraid as to the punishment
    vabchmommy

    Answer by vabchmommy at 2:56 PM on Apr. 8, 2009

  • They def. do not fear me, I hope they respect me
    Rachel24517

    Answer by Rachel24517 at 3:09 PM on Apr. 8, 2009

  • Well, with great amts of respect comes a certain amt of fear. Its not fear as in "terror" fear, but more like "reverential" fear. Like, fear of the consequences of bad behavior. Thats good fear. No, I don't think my kids are terrified of me. I am not that mean, I hope.
    momofsaee

    Answer by momofsaee at 3:13 PM on Apr. 8, 2009

  • Well I hope they respect me. At the moment my 5 yr old doesnt seem to show me respect and DEFINATELY doesnt fear me.
    My other two are 2 1/2 and 14 mths. They are still learning.
    BonesDragonDew

    Answer by BonesDragonDew at 3:14 PM on Apr. 8, 2009

  • My daughter has nothing but love & respect for me. She doesn't even have "FEAR" of consequences, she has great concern for them. That is not fear.
    samurai_chica

    Answer by samurai_chica at 3:39 PM on Apr. 8, 2009

  • A little bit of both. There is nothing wrong with a healthy fear. There is a very fine line between the two.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:39 PM on Apr. 8, 2009

  • They submit to my authority, which is alot like respect. They love me and mimic me all the time... wich is alot like respect as well. When they do wrong, they may fear or dread the consiquences, that is not the same as fearing the person. If I speed.. I may fear the consiquences or dread the consiquences... but I still have respect and admiration for the officer who pulls me over.

    I was a child who lived in "fear" over her parents growing up. So I do understand the differance.
    daughteroftruth

    Answer by daughteroftruth at 3:52 PM on Apr. 8, 2009

  • At this point they probably fear me more than anything. They fear being put in time out or spanked if they get in trouble. We do spank, but only after 3 time outs in a day. It usually doesn't get to that point.

    I don't see a problem with a healthy fear. I would rather have respect, but they are still a bit young for that. Hopefully as they get older, there will be more respect.

    I was always terrified of disappointing my parents. It's a form of fear out of respect for them and wanting their approval. I strived to make good grades and was a good girl... until college. ;)
    Cavalrybaby02

    Answer by Cavalrybaby02 at 4:08 PM on Apr. 8, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.