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Easter punishment

The past 2 weeks my daughter has been acting out. On a normal day, she's cool, calm and collected, honest, respectful...But these last few weeks she has been a mess. I think it has 2 do with the readjustment 2 a new school and some other external mess with extended family. But regardless, it has been hell coming home from work and dealing with that. She has been talking back to DH (her stepfather) which she never did before and not fallowing the rules at home when I'm away. (I work and go 2 school 2x a week.) She is on Spring Break this week and happy about Easter coming.
On 2 my question...lol. My husband thinks that due 2 her behavior, I shouldn't allow her to go to any Easter egg hunts & parties this weekend and should not make a basket. Do you think this is fair? I have been debating over this all week and honestly am unsure of what 2 do. I work with kids, so I know I shouldn't reward the neg. beh. But it just seems wrong

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 2:52 PM on Apr. 8, 2009 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

This question is closed.
Answers (16)
  • Randomly cancelling Easter is just going to piss her off and make her act out more. That's the one thing that grinded my gears when I was growing up. My parents rarely set any consequences for my actions, they would just wait until they had enough of something and then punish me by taking something huge away out of the blue with no warning. Did I deserve to have something taken away? Absolutely. Was I wrong? Absolutely! However, at the time, I didn't see it that way. Their manner of punishment was simply enfuriating and made me act out worse.

    It think it is better to lay down the law and set rules. Tell her, your behavior (doing X, X and X) is unacceptable and you know it. If you don't knock it off, there will be no Easter Egg Hunts and no basket. THEN if she continues, I'd take it away. But for her to be acting out due to very understandable stressors in her life and then to have Easter taken out from under her
    NovemberLove

    Answer by NovemberLove at 3:02 PM on Apr. 8, 2009

  • I would ground her for sure but I'd still let her celebrate Easter the way you normally would. I don't think it would be fair to take a Holiday away from her.
    momoflilangel

    Answer by momoflilangel at 2:54 PM on Apr. 8, 2009

  • I agree with punishing her, but not by taking away Easter. Take away television, plalytime, ETC.
    StifflersMom82

    Answer by StifflersMom82 at 2:55 PM on Apr. 8, 2009

  • YOu stated that its probably because of things that have happened out of her control like new school ect. So I think it would be harsh to take away Easter. YOu could talk to her about how she needs to be respectful of her step father have her write a letter of apology. Give her some extra chores or take away tv or something she likes after she behaves like that again.
    okmommy08

    Answer by okmommy08 at 2:59 PM on Apr. 8, 2009

  • i would still do your basket and whatever you do as a family. but parties that her friends are having or whatever would be a no no.
    vabchmommy

    Answer by vabchmommy at 3:00 PM on Apr. 8, 2009

  • (cont.) with no warning.....I don't feel that is in any way effective.

    Correct her each time she acts out and remind her of the punishment, THEN deliver the punishment. Don't throw a punishment out there when you haven't explained to her what her actions will yield FIRST. IMHO.
    NovemberLove

    Answer by NovemberLove at 3:03 PM on Apr. 8, 2009

  • The discipline should fit the disobedience. Punishment will make a child more angry. Discipline will teach her how to behave in the future. Acts of disrespect to a parent should be punishable by a spanking, either followed or prececed by a reminder of the house rules for showing respect to her elders. Also, the discipline should immediately follow the infraction and not be meted out days later. Not in children this young. I would not punish her by taking away Easter. Instead, I would sit her down tonight and explain the new rules about respecting her parents and that the new discipline would be an immediate spanking and perhaps some time in isolation to think about the seriousness of what she has done.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 3:04 PM on Apr. 8, 2009

  • All I know is that when I was a child and looking back on my childhood, holidays and family get togethers are what made it magical. Most of my childhood memories are of the fun I had at Easter/Christmas/etc and I promise you that if my parents ever took even one Easter away, I would remember it even to this day. There has to be another option?
    jenellemarie

    Answer by jenellemarie at 3:11 PM on Apr. 8, 2009

  • I never take holidays away from my kids as punishment. Holidays are special days, and they each only come around once a year. It's too harsh, in my opinion. I would ground her for the days leading up to it, maybe, or take something away that she really loves or enjoys. If you've already tried everything else, you could always threaten that if she doesn't straighten up, you will take away Easter, but when you do that, remind her that it means she'll have to wait another yr. That threat alone might convince her to straighten up.
    tropicalmama

    Answer by tropicalmama at 4:13 PM on Apr. 8, 2009

  • Well, it depends on how bad the behavior really was and if you've been trying other punishments and they're not working.

    I would also make sure that she KNEW she wasn't getting to go hunting for eggs because of her behavior, and that she missed out on an basket because of her behavior. Obviously, don't just take those things away without telling her why.

    You also still have a few days. Tell her flat out that if her behavior doesn't improve she will lose those things...and STICK TO IT.

    I be the next time a holiday comes around she'll straighten up.

    Yes, she's in a new school and there is other family stuff going on (which I'm not sure she should have been exposed to that, and I hope that since she was, there is just no way to have avoided it) but to excuse her behavior for that is just setting it up for even worse behavior if things in her life change later.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:01 PM on Apr. 8, 2009

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