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MIL is upset about not being in delivery room. what to do?

I'm a little over 10 weeks prego and my MIL asked my DH if she can be in the delivery room.... and I told him to tell her no.. now his feelings as well as my MIL's are hurt...

gaaaahhhhhh..... its not even until november and I feel like telling everyone NO one is gonna be in there... just me.. grr

my DH doesnt understand why his mom cant be in there when my mom is going to be as well as my bestie..

first off.. I was adopted and my mom never had any kids.. so I want her to be able to expirience it with me.. if she had "pushed me outa her" then she wouldnt be in there either.. ahah.. but my DH doesnt seem to get this..

I got so mad at him yesterday that I yelled at him that he could pick who gets to be in there since its all about him and he'll be the one screaming his face off..

so my question is [sorry I'm long winded] how can I make everyone including me happy and get everyone to stop stressing me out?

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Asked by raehope at 5:57 PM on Apr. 8, 2009 in Pregnancy

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Answers (104)
  • You can't and shouldn't try and accommodate everyone. My mother wanted to be there, I said no. It was just my husband and will be just my husband and daughter this time around. Birth is about you, not pleasing the masses.

    Answer by celticreverie at 5:59 PM on Apr. 8, 2009

  • we went through this and I just old my mother in law that I would be very imbarrassed if she were in the room, I would not want a bunch of people looking at my crotch. Tell her your just very modest.

    Answer by staceynoel at 6:00 PM on Apr. 8, 2009

  • I would just stick by my guns. If I am the one in labor and giving birth, I get to decide who is in the delivery room one else - not even hubby. I personally wouldn't want anyone but my husband in there with me, not even my own mom....

    So you pick who you want in there and that's the end of story. You are the mom-to-be and the doctors/nurses will enforce your wishes.

    Answer by Pollymom at 6:00 PM on Apr. 8, 2009

  • Reality, you can't make everyone happy. You just need to do what makes you comfortable and its ok toi be selfish you are the one in labor. You need to surround yourself with people you feel comfortable, make you feel safe, and will support you.

    Make a peace offerinf to your MIL. Let her be the 1st visitor.

    Answer by FuzNet at 6:02 PM on Apr. 8, 2009

  • another thing is my DH doesnt like my bestie that much cause she's loud.. and he wants me to kick her out if she's "rude" to him... i swear i almost punched him... i hope he behaves himself long enough or knowing me i'll end up kicking his a** out... lol

    Answer by raehope at 6:03 PM on Apr. 8, 2009

  • Sorry but you are not going to make everyone happy with your choice and it is your choice.

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:03 PM on Apr. 8, 2009

  • and i know i wont be able to make everyone happy.. i just want it to be a good expirience for everyone.. :/ bahhh being a new mom is rough and baby isnt even here yet..

    Answer by raehope at 6:05 PM on Apr. 8, 2009

  • I know exactly what you mean. With my first child my MIL wanted to be in the room and I told her no. My dh was upset and didnt see how fair it was for her not to be able to be there when i wanted my mom to be in. I simply told him that it was MY body being exposed to someone I dont feel that comforatable with and that if he wanted to go ahead and lay on a bed with his genitals exposed for MY mother to see then his can be the room. needless to say my mom and my dh was in the room and that was it

    Answer by SabrenaLeigh at 6:05 PM on Apr. 8, 2009

  • sabrena.. i think i'll say that to him next time he makes me feel guilty about it :D

    Answer by raehope at 6:07 PM on Apr. 8, 2009

  • Dont try to please everyone. You cant and wont ever be able to. You are not going to want anyone in there that makes you feel uncomfortable at all. But as for your bf and your best friend, I would maybe talk to her and him about keeping the peace while you are in labor. Best friend or not, you are not going to tolerate having loud people in there, and he needs to be respected as the father of the baby if you want to start having a good relationship as a family, she didnt help creat the baby, he did, and he needs his requests respected to an extent also.

    Answer by AK_aries at 6:09 PM on Apr. 8, 2009

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