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What do I do about my 13 year old?

All of a sudden she has an attitude like no other. She was grumpy, moody up until about a year ago, then she started her period. And has been fine. But it seems like all of a sudden she has gotten rude, her voice has this tone to it, and I don't know what to do. She recently went and had a sleepover with her BM. During that time her older sister dyed her hair, to which I got pretty upset about. She hadn't told me about it at all. And when she came home she had different colored hair.

Granted, she is a good kid. She does okay in school, she babysits her little brother for me, and can be pretty good. She just has this attitude that is going to drive me through the walls!!

Any help/advice would be great. Thanks.

Answer Question

Asked by mommyaunt412 at 6:03 PM on Apr. 8, 2009 in Teens (13-17)

Level 1 (3 Credits)
Answers (12)
  • Is she your stepdaughter? You said she stayed the night at BM, that is Bio-mom right? Your husband, her father needs to deal with this. He needs to tell her that she needs to show you respect and drop the attitude.

    Answer by feesharose at 6:09 PM on Apr. 8, 2009

  • I say she's being a typical teenager, I gave my mom hell for no apparent reason. It will pass.

    Answer by Rachel24517 at 6:10 PM on Apr. 8, 2009

  • I do you care if her sister dyed her hair, she's not your kid, let her dad and BM worry about it.

    Answer by staceynoel at 6:15 PM on Apr. 8, 2009

  • I'm sorry I should have mentioned that I am her legal guardian. So she is my kid. I've had her for 7 years. She is my niece, her bm is my sister. And I am a single parent.

    We have kind of a funky family. She is one of five kids, I have two. Her, and her younger brother. The other three are scattered. But this is not her problem, like I said I've had her for seven years. So our arrangment is nothing new to her to adjust to. And she has had visits, sleepovers, with he bm before.

    I'm beginning to think its typical teenager stuff. But what is the best way to approach it? Ignore the attitude, and love her?

    Answer by mommyaunt412 at 6:22 PM on Apr. 8, 2009

  • The way I would handle it just come straight out and let her know that you will not except that behavior that she is going to have to control her fits and if that don't work than you might have to ground her for long periods until you think she has earned it back or go local on her and let her know you can to act unreasonable as well just go back when the parents/guardian will have to touch that back side she is not to old if you dont stop it now she is going to get way out of hands you will regret it for not putting your foot down my sister is going through that right now for not spacking or punishing them she was always trying to be the friend and not the mom and when it was time to get serious they just laugh it off now he is locked up he just turned 18 and she is 16 going on 25 they both in the sytem and they were A students in school she's in a Foster home in a different city so work on it before you lose her

    Answer by blesswith3 at 9:45 PM on Apr. 8, 2009

  • She is being a normal 13 year old teenager. That doesn't mean she can be disrespectful though. I tend to ignore my son until he talks nicely. Or I will talk to him with the same attitude and he doesn't like it. Take away priveleges and favorite things. I had an attitude at that age too and I turned out to be a pretty respectful adult who didn't get into any trouble.

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 10:10 PM on Apr. 8, 2009

  • If she gets too flip just smack her in the mouth. My 14 gets a little flip around her time of the month. Although I do allow her a little more leeway then, she knows not to go too far. It sounds like she doesn't fear you. Your kids, bio- or not, if you're taking care of them, they're you're kids. And kids have to have a certain amount of fear or they won't take you or your threats seriously. Attitudes are not okay for teenagers to have. "Normal" or otherwise. My mom didn't play that, neither do I. Until you got bills to pay and kids to feed, you ain't got a attitude about NOTHING! If she's being well taken care of by you then she needs to be appreciative and respectful towards you at all times. If she had a bad day at school or something, and doesn't want to talk about it, let her have some time to herself in her room to cool off. But don't let her stomp around blowing off steam. And YES she should hv asked about her hair 1st

    Answer by Dmommy4 at 1:35 AM on Apr. 9, 2009

  • it's a phase! However you can let her know that being disrespectful will not be tolorated. They will only do it as long as they think they can get away with it.

    My daughter did the same thing except it was her best friend. This is just me now but I figure I can control the clothes and other things but have agreed to go easy on the hair. As long as she informs me that she's changing it I might not like it but it's only hair. Worse case scenerio-it either falls out from the damage or gets cut. Don't stress the small stuff.

    Answer by pagirl71 at 9:20 AM on Apr. 9, 2009

  • Attitude and drama goes along with girls. It's part of life. :)

    Answer by summerdayz at 2:31 PM on Apr. 9, 2009

  • That is your typical 13 year old teenage girl. My daugther was similar to that when she was that age.

    Answer by momof31968 at 9:01 AM on Apr. 10, 2009

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