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when should you get your tubes tied? Souldn't it be up to yourself and spouse?

K so I thought it was wierd form them to ask the first time but now they have asked me three times. I am only 24 years old with two kids and one on the way. We moved to a new state so I had to get another OBGYN the office asked me at my first dr. appointment "I was 8wks along" if I wanted my tubes tied after this baby. I was not expecting that question at all. I hadn't even thought of it. Im not sure if I want more kids or not yet. They asked again aroung 15wks I still said I didn't know. THen at my 20wk appointment they asked and said they needed to know by 28wks. I really don't know if I want to or not. I grew up in a huge family "12kids" and I think I am still pretty young. Just to have that option taken away from me scares me. Why do they keep asking me? my other doctors never once asked. Is having three or more kids these days just uncommon?

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Asked by angelkatcutie83 at 6:04 PM on Apr. 8, 2009 in General Parenting

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Answers (16)
  • It sounds like your answer is no.

    Answer by feesharose at 6:06 PM on Apr. 8, 2009

  • Have as many kids as you want, I don't see why they would need to know ahead of time, don't let them pressure you into anything, I asked a question about that once while pergnant with my third and they were trying to make a date for it, I just wanted information. Just tell them flat out you will not be having the operation. Good Luck!

    Answer by Rachel24517 at 6:08 PM on Apr. 8, 2009

  • I would get rude with them and tell them to quit asking me. My Dr here wont even let you make the decision while you are pregnnat because of the hormonal issues alot of mom's change their minds. Tell them no and quit asking. So what you have 3 kids, what business is it of theirs?

    Answer by AK_aries at 6:14 PM on Apr. 8, 2009

  • What's up with that? I have never had anyone ask me that... wierd... Though I do want to be done after my third girl and I have lots of people telling me "there's always next time" for a boy... sheesh...

    Yeah though, your answer is no...definitely no.. tell them NO No No! and "if you ask again I'm finding a different doc because honestly I'm scared you're gonna mess up and do it anyway since you're all so Knot happy" hehe

    Answer by LuckyClown at 6:14 PM on Apr. 8, 2009

  • You always have the option. Yes, they may not be able to do it while you are already in the hosptial for giving birth. But that doesn't stop you from having it done at another time. I'd tell them no, you don't want to do it. Then make up your own mind, in your own time, and have it done when (and if) you want. Even if that's when you turn 45.

    Answer by kaycee14 at 6:16 PM on Apr. 8, 2009

  • I got my tubes tied when I was 21 (I had 2 kids, a boy and a girl) and part of me regrets it. If you haven't even thought of it and are unsure just tell them "no". If you and your husband change your minds later then go for it. I didn't have mine done when I was in the hospital and it no big deal (as far as difference) to get it done later if you choose. If you don't want more kids for awhile than just tell the doctor that you want a non-permanent form of birth control.

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:27 PM on Apr. 8, 2009

  • I was never asked... I asked my OB! It will be when I have my c-section this June!

    Answer by richgirljj at 6:29 PM on Apr. 8, 2009

  • One time asking, even two times (perhaps they forgot they already asked), I would say standard question that the dr. office asks everyone at the first visit. But, by the 3rd time, and them telling you they need to know by 28 weeks is just rude and pushing you. I'd tell them that you will let them know if and when you decide to have it done or not done. My dr. never asked me, with either of my pregnancies. I brought it up in my 2nd pregnancy, b/c I wanted to get it done. When I brought it up, I told her I was thinking about it and wanted some information. She asked me one time after that "Have you made a decision?" I said I was still thinking, and she told me to let her know what I decided when I decided. I never heard about it again until I told her I had decided to do it. They do need to know ahead of time to schedule it, but it's your decision. Don't let them pressure you. You and your hubby discuss and decide what you want.

    Answer by tropicalmama at 7:02 PM on Apr. 8, 2009

  • My dr asked me several times during my second pregnancy. I just had to keep telling him no we are having one more. No we are having one more.

    He was a twitty dr and I think, in my case, it was because I was heavier so he figured I didnt need anymore. That was his attitude anyway.

    I know many women your age with that many kids who DO want their tubes tied so it might just be something common in your area and so they've made it a priority to ask a few times throughout.

    Annoying as it is, it may just be that. Keep telling them no thanks and remind them when you go in tho have the baby as well.

    Answer by BonesDragonDew at 7:32 PM on Apr. 8, 2009

  • Chances are it's all about dollars and cents. If you have insurance, the plan will pay 100% for your tubes to be tied after birth, or within 6 weeks. If you have your tubes tied any other time, the insurance wlll pay 80% and you pay the other 20%.You don't have to get rude with the doctor to exercise your freedom of speech or choice. You have the option to tell them "Please don't ask me that question again. I would, however, appreciate your giving me all the information I need to become more aware of all my choices."

    Always remember, there's a way to do (moreless spell), and say everything.  I consciously focus on projecting maturity, thinking things all the way out and the consequences (before I open my mouth) maintain a ladylike composure and keep my husband's viewpoints/options in mind.


    Answer by Ewadun at 7:59 PM on Apr. 8, 2009

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