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Young kids and inappropriate behavior

I have 2 full time step-kids. A boy 6 and a girl 4. Well they seems to be very curious about each others bodies and frankly it's scaring the crap out of me. I know some of it is innocent but some of the things I've caught them doing freaks me out a bit. I mean they haven't been doing horrible things. But these are like my own kids. And I'm freaking. They've been naked on top of each other and just the other day our boy came in and told on his sister for putting her peepee on his mouth!! WHAT?!?! I'm just about to pull my hair out. I'm afraid they've seen their mother having sex or seen inappropriate movies for their age. We would never allow them to watch movies that were anything other than G rated. And they certainly have never walked in on us. But I have no idea what kind of stuff they've seen in the past with their mother. She's not exactly mother of the year if you get my drift. What do I do??? HELP!

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Asked by Anonymous at 6:31 PM on Apr. 8, 2009 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Answers (8)
  • Well it's very clear they have seen it some where. You and your husband should talk with the mother and then get together with the children and talk with them about it.


    Answer by Anonymous at 6:34 PM on Apr. 8, 2009

  • Both you and your husband should talk to them about what is appropriate and what isn't. I don't think that at this time you should have to go into too much detail or explaniation with them.
    Best of luck to you.

    Answer by AmandaH321 at 6:34 PM on Apr. 8, 2009

  • ask them why they were doing it. they will probably just tell you, that way you can figure out what theyve seen. they have to have seen something to be doing this, i've never heard of children doing this kind of thing w/o seeing someone or some movie to give them the idea. otherwise, doors open and keep an eye on them. explain the good/bad touch thing to them so they know they shouldnt be doing that together.

    Answer by vabchmommy at 6:35 PM on Apr. 8, 2009

  • I would talk to them to find out what they think they are doing. try not to make them feel like they are in trouble, but do explain what is appropriate and that girls and boys do not need to be touching each other's private areas. i also agree - keep the doors open.

    also, not to scare you, but they could also have been molested. i was molested when i was a child so that is where my mind goes immediately. i would talk to their doctor and see if they think. i might also consider counseling. even if they weren't molested it doesn't sound like their home with their mother was that great and it might do them some good.

    good luck.

    Answer by aly38914290 at 8:25 PM on Apr. 8, 2009

  • They've seen that somewhere. You need to talk to them about the differences between a man's body and a woman's body. You probably need to get social services involved or a counselor at the very, very least.

    Answer by paralegal09 at 9:27 PM on Apr. 8, 2009

  • At the very least talk to them about private parts and good touches versus bad touches. Yes, kids are curious, but this is over the line behavior. No matter what they may have seen or been exposed to, they need to know this is not acceptable.

    Answer by tiggermom803 at 2:16 AM on Apr. 9, 2009

  • I'd ask them what they were doing, where they'd seen that.
    I've taught my kids (sorry I know you didn't get to raise them, so I know you didn't have the opportunity) but I've taught mine that we don't touch other people's privates and people shouldn't touch ours until we're adults. I've also said that if someone says that it's okay, to not tell anyone, that they shouldn't listen, and it doesn't matter if it's me, Dad, or anyone else, that if it makes you feel uncomfortable, then you need to tell someone (which your son did so that's good).
    I'd put those children in some form of councelling so that they can start working to undo whatever it was they saw with their Mom. You need to think seriously about the possibility that their Mom either allowed someone else, or she touched them that way or got her kicks on watching them touch each other (lots of people do that and film it and sell) so I'd really be finding out about it.

    Answer by lisa_ann_p at 6:24 AM on Apr. 9, 2009

  • I would have a clear conversation with them about PRIVATE parts. and keeping our hands to ourselves, and modesty. They're old enough to wash themselves so I thinkit's safe to say, NO ONE should touch their private parts. There aren't many execptions to that.

    Answer by Clarkebar2 at 1:01 AM on Apr. 11, 2009

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