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has this ever happened to you? I have a 9 month old and I love her to death she is my heart and soul but we had been invited to go out with some riends and i'm sitting at home while everyone else went out. AS I SAID I LOVE MY DAUGHTER but there are these days i wish it was just me and myu bf I wrong to think that? Does anyone else think this? I am also 19 years old. I feel bad even thinking/writting this

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Asked by Madelyn_Marie at 8:13 PM on Apr. 8, 2009 in Relationships

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Answers (12)
  • We all feel like that sometimes, dont feel bad for feeling that way. And on top of it all you are only 19 so I can understand you wanting your old life back, just for a minute ;) then getting her back, lol :)

    Her name is Madelyn? My dds name is Madilyn!

    Answer by mom2twobabes at 8:16 PM on Apr. 8, 2009

  • I think it's amazing you did post it. an not anonymously. Congrats on that btw, most people hide from their truths. It is not bad, but pretty typical. most of the posts I'm sure you'll get are "well you're the one who decided to have a baby so young, blah blah blah." you are not the only one to feel like this. there are tons of women, older and younger, who go through the "man, I used to be more free than this" but, like you said you DO love your daughter. It'll be ok. Try to find a balance. You need to find maybe a family member or sitter who can take baby for a while, maybe even the father if possible. Don't forget that even though you did choose to be a parent so young, you have every right to still enjoy being youthful, and happy and a woman. take some time out for you, try to schedule a night out with your friends around your time and see if that works! good luck. I know parenting is hard!

    Answer by Adeline1210 at 8:18 PM on Apr. 8, 2009

  • Every mom has her day. Don't beat yourself up. i was young when I had my first, it wasn't always easy watching my friends do whatever....but when you look back one day, you will be glad you were there.

    Answer by momjoy1027 at 8:23 PM on Apr. 8, 2009

  • I would have to say yes I have thought that many times. Don't feel bad that you thought it. Im sure your daugther is the world to you. You give up alot for your kids. My kids are my life and I would do anything for them, but there are times you want the old days back just for a day or two. Being a mom is "i think" the hardest job in the world I don't care if others don't agree with me they don't have to but as I said being a mother does mean you have to give up alot if you want to be a good mom. That is why it's great to get a sitter and go out for a night every once in a while.

    Answer by angelkatcutie83 at 8:24 PM on Apr. 8, 2009

  • I sometimes feel like that when my gfs go out that have their mothers to watch their children.

    Answer by preciouschild at 8:29 PM on Apr. 8, 2009

  • I have those moments... of course we live w my parents & everyone assumes 'live in babysitter' yea right!!! don't feel bad it doesn't make you a bad mom for feeling this. its a hard adjustment to make going from living your life for yourself to living for someone else. but the other moms are right you do need time w/o the baby (it helps in MANY ways) Good Luck & look into having a night out like once a month. you'll be happy you did.

    Answer by theheartbaby at 8:36 PM on Apr. 8, 2009

  • We all have those days. Taking care of a baby/child is a full time thing. You are allowed to want your day off every now and then. And as long as you are not taking it out on your daughter (ie. not holding her, ignoring her), you are fine.

    Answer by spiritguide_23 at 8:39 PM on Apr. 8, 2009

  • you are 19 and it is good that you can say how you feel. Maybe you can get someone to watch your little girl and you can go out once in a while. I know what is was like growing up with a mother that hated having to stay with me.... she had me when she was 18. I think I have heard every year of my life how I destroyed her life. So.. the moral of the story is .... you have to be happy so your child can be happy.

    Best of luck

    Answer by dancelinemom at 8:43 PM on Apr. 8, 2009

  • Very good suggestions above, so I just wanted you to know that you show a lot of maturity to write your message and to seek opinions. You'll make the right decisions and be a good mom. hugs to you!

    Answer by Bmat at 8:47 PM on Apr. 8, 2009

  • All the suggestions are great.
    My grandson's mom is only 19 and suffers a lot of guilt about leaving him (He's 2) but I tell him he's happier when she's happier.

    Despite what people tell you, life doesn't end when you have a child young.

    Lots of Love & Support from all of us who've been there. You're on the right track because you're able to recognize how you're feeling. See if you can get someone to watch the baby once a week for a few hours & go be 19!

    You'll both do fine & we're rooting for ya!

    Answer by AmaresNana at 9:07 PM on Apr. 8, 2009

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