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i am stupid, but should i?

my hubby is sometime abusive.never to our son just to me.(hiting, yelling, emotionally, sometimes we have fights that turn into wrestling matches. they are far between but last time he choked me till i was almost unconscious...afterward he is always sorry and says it's because he has to teach me to be better, or because he was just trying to get me to calm down...he blames everything on my bi-polar disorder(if you weren't being crazy, i wouldn't...) i know i should leave, but i can't imagine myself being with anyone else...i know i am stupid...what would you do? stay or go?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 11:18 PM on Apr. 8, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (15)
  • LEAVE LEAVE LEAVE! He has to teach you to be better? No real man would have to teach you to be better. He would love you for you, bipolar included. There are better men out there, please be safe. You have a son to think about!

    Answer by StifflersMom82 at 11:20 PM on Apr. 8, 2009

  • Better start practicing imagining yourself with someone else...otherwise you may just end up hospitalized or dead. Sorry to be so blunt, but so many like you end up far more hurt than they ever imagined they'd be. Is that how you want your son to treat girls? He WILL pick those things up frmo his daddy. End it now.

    Answer by ReneeK3 at 11:20 PM on Apr. 8, 2009

  • I would go. He has all the classic signs of an abuser. Including blaming you for HIS actions. But nothing we say will change your mind. He almost killed you. You almost passed out because oxygen wasn't getting to your brain. That will kill you or make you brain dead. Is it worth leaving your kids without a mother...for him to take care of?

    Answer by MamaChamp at 11:21 PM on Apr. 8, 2009

  • GOOOOOOOOOOO!!! You need to seek counciling immediately. It is not right to allow yourself and your child to be put in this position. Just because he has yet to put his hands on your son, does not mean that he never will. Do you think that is a safe, loving, nuturing environment for a child to have to grow up in? Even if he is not being abused, he is going to think that is the way that men are supposed to treat women... You are not stupid. You know what you should do. Don't be scared. Good Luck Hun.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:22 PM on Apr. 8, 2009

  • GO!!! RUN AS FAST AS YOU CAN!!!! coming from a past reltionship like this TRUST ME it WILL get worse!!! Mine got to the point of having knives to my throat and a gun to my head and no way I could see out. And with a child in your situation you don't want your son growing up witnessing this bc then he will think it is an acceptable behavior for men to treat women like that. For both your sake leave. eventually he might become abusive to your son. Thats where my ex learned it from his dad.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:23 PM on Apr. 8, 2009

  • you better leave before he ends up seriously injuring you and your child, its silly that you cant imagine yourself with anyone else. there are so many great things out there and that isnt one of them. be strong and move on, if not for you for your son

    Answer by emleejane at 11:23 PM on Apr. 8, 2009


    Answer by MELRN at 11:25 PM on Apr. 8, 2009

  • If you don't leave he'll kill you. Do it for your son...don't let him grow up thinking that it's ok to beat and choke a woman!!!!!

    Answer by Fallaya at 11:36 PM on Apr. 8, 2009

  • Please take the advice given above... Get everything in order, see an attorney, then you can walk away .. It's not going to be easy at first but it does, I promise... Be strong for your son, he needs his Mommy happy and healthy!!

    Answer by 4x4mum at 11:37 PM on Apr. 8, 2009

  • Leave. I know bi-polar disorder and I know wife beaters. Neither are a valid excuse for abuse and neither is him "trying to teach you to be better". He is NOT the one qualified to do that! Only a counselor is!

    You shouldn't be "trying to imagine your life with someone else". You need to imagine your life either A. DEAD or B. free from the bondage of abuse. Plain and simple and don't think I don't know what I am talking about. I do. My ex is still trying to hunt me down and kill me. 4 yrs after I left. GL, PM me if you want and stay safe.

    Answer by Babylove76 at 11:40 PM on Apr. 8, 2009

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