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Is the difference between a birth mother from Infant Adoption and one whose had her rights revolked by CPS not obvious?

I see many references to birth mothers being bad people. Is the difference not obvious? Do you think that if a woman who becomes pregnant at a time in her life when she is single and does not have financial support, she's the same as a woman who CPS descides she shouldn't have custody for the safety of her child? Are they the same in your eyes?


Asked by onethentwins at 3:00 AM on Apr. 9, 2009 in Adoption

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Answers (22)
  • To me there is a hugh difference. One mom abused her child and in many cases left horrible scars. Tthe other mom looked into her heart and decided for whatever reason that she was unable to parent her child and choose to let another family do so for her.

    Answer by baconbits at 10:56 AM on Apr. 9, 2009

  • I'm lost. Where is this stemming from?

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:06 AM on Apr. 9, 2009

  • Im not sure either exactly what it is that your asking? Are you asking if someone who opts to adopt out there child due to financial situations and someone who loses there child to CPS is the same thing?

    Answer by mistynights234 at 3:14 AM on Apr. 9, 2009

  • I think you got your answer. We must all be the same breed of monster in everyone else's eyes.

    Answer by summerleigh at 3:57 AM on Apr. 9, 2009

  • Unless they have been thru what we have no body is going to understand your question hun.
    But yes you are right even the women that have the CPS problem think they are the same as us. I know the difference we didnt mess up and got our children talkn away. We looked into our beautiful hearts and did the right this for THEM not us. If we thought of us first then who knows what would happen. Love Ya Darling.

    Answer by Thaifalung20 at 4:44 AM on Apr. 9, 2009

  • Are you asking if one who doesn't want custody deserves to be stroked with praises and pats on the back while the other who shouldn't have custody deserves to be bad talked ?

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:09 AM on Apr. 9, 2009

  • I take that a little personal....when I was younger, I went to jail for drugs for more than six months and they terminated my parental rights because I went over the six month limit for reunification, not because I did drugs around my kid, or beat him, nor did I neglect him. Seven years later I am clean and have my life together and in a way I feel a great loss. I never signed anything, and was never given much of a chance to prove myself. He was cute and adoptable. I don't understand how people can do drugs, sell drugs, beat their kids, neglect them get them taken away over and over again and haven't lost them. But still, it only takes one time.

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:42 AM on Apr. 9, 2009

  • The answer is obvious. I don't think in the long run it makes a heck of a difference to the child, from what my adopted son, s/o and BIL tell me. It is sad, but alot of people lump everyone in to one basket. It matters more to the mom's I think. Because Reece's mom had issues, I still liked her as a person to talk to, just glad she didn't raise him...then.

    Answer by Heartlight617 at 10:07 AM on Apr. 9, 2009

  • Have to disagree it wouldnt make a difference to the child eventually. Many parents, sadly who are stripped of their rights by CPS dont improve their situation over time. I was never a drug addict or neglectful to begin with so when my child & I do meet again someday, what she will find is a normal regular person with a normal regular life. Not a drug addict living in poverty or whatever.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:50 AM on Apr. 9, 2009

  • I do not find either set of parents to be bad people. They may have made poor choices but that doesn't mean they don't love their children. Many parents who have had their parental rights terminated by a judge still very much love their children. It doesn't mean that it is healthy, normal, or safe. It doesn't mean that those children should necessarily have continued contact with a person who neglected, abused, or put them in danger. But it doesn't necessarily mean they should not have some type of biological family connection either. It is a judgement call. Either way, private or through social services (and we are doing both), I want to be able to say that I did everything I knew how to safely do to maintain a connection. In some cases that isn't really possible. But to answer your question I have to say that I don't see a difference in that I believe that all parents, in most cases, are good people.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:44 AM on Apr. 9, 2009