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what would you tell someone that....

has very strong URGES to hit thier child but, has not actually done it yet? I have a friend who is 24 and she told me that she gets so upset with her dd that sometimes she feels like she just wants to smack her....and she sounded VERY serious...I already told her she needs to go see a doctor but would there be any other advice you would give?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 5:28 AM on Apr. 9, 2009 in General Parenting

Answers (7)
  • I would tell her that when she has this "urge" to walk into another room and take deep breaths count to 10 (maybe 100), then handle the situation in a calm matter with the child.
    Dani32

    Answer by Dani32 at 5:37 AM on Apr. 9, 2009

  • I agree with above.
    Chrissy629

    Answer by Chrissy629 at 6:40 AM on Apr. 9, 2009

  • Put the child in a safe place and walk out of the room for fifteen minutes. It won't hurt the child. Also if she is postpartum, or depressed for any reason that can lower your tolerance for children, hormonal bc can make you crazy moody too. And tell her if she is not serious to not say things like that, because it could get her in a heap of trouble, but if she is saying it because she needs help then she did the right thing. Tell her your concerns, be honest.
    Steff107

    Answer by Steff107 at 7:01 AM on Apr. 9, 2009

  • good answers ladies but i would suggest also counseling or the doc cuz these urges could turn into actions.
    jodi205

    Answer by jodi205 at 8:17 AM on Apr. 9, 2009

  • She does need to talk to her doctor...I was the same way. I don't handle stress well at all. No amount of exercising was helping it either. She needs to find a way to vent her frustrations in a safe way...she may need meds to help.
    ReneeK3

    Answer by ReneeK3 at 9:02 AM on Apr. 9, 2009

  • All of the above posts are great advise. Maybe you could also talk to her about when she spanks. When me and DH were deciding if we should or not we laid out some ground rules for ourselves. Spanking should only be used when other punishments or options have been exhausted. We also don't spank when we are angry. We may only spank when we are calm and in control of our emotions. Spanking is not an impulse. It is used with a warning. Spanking impulsively or when you are angry will most definately hurt your child. I spank my son and he is warned before. It's hard though once you start spanking to always remain calm. I had to stop for a while and have only started again because DS is in some weird not listening and talking back phase, hope it passes soon. To those how think I beat my son, he get's a swat, not a hit or a tap either. Enough to get his attention and get him back on track.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:34 AM on Apr. 9, 2009

  • all ideas are good but i get the urge sometimes too have never acted and know i never will but that is just human nature to think of all possible scenarios maybe she just has a little higher stress level as long as she has never acted then maybe she just called you to vent i know i call my friends all the time and vent my soul out as long as you never harm the child it is normal to have those thoughts you can't tell me you have never thought of just tossing them out the door and taking a long hot bath
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:42 PM on Apr. 9, 2009

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