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please help

i got twin boys age 2 almost three. when daddys home they are really good they listen to him and do what they are asked, but as soon as he leaves its like they turn that all off. they wine, they tell me "no" all the time, i try putting them in time out, but they just scream so loud that i have had the poeple come over from next door to make sure everything is okay. i dont hit my kids and thats not somethig that i would do, but i need some kind of help here cause i am going out of my mind. i dont just let them do what they want so its not like i spoil them, please help

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Asked by michelle.coppes at 11:22 AM on Apr. 9, 2009 in Toddlers (1-2)

Level 15 (1,968 Credits)
Answers (11)
  • put them in their room, first time they throw a fit, if the neighbors come over, they come over. What your boys are doing is common. They tend to respond better to the parent that isn't there all the time, it's annoying as hell lol. But this too shall pass my dear. Just be consistant. If they throw a fit, keep them in their room till they are done. Don't budge on that

    Answer by Zakysmommy at 11:25 AM on Apr. 9, 2009

  • They feel safe enough to scream. That is a good thing. However, they need a naughty spot. Get a carpet square for each kid and put them where you can observe them, but they can't interact with each other. If they act up like that they sit on thier naughty square. One minute per year plus one.

    Answer by SusieD250 at 11:25 AM on Apr. 9, 2009

  • Both ladies offer good advice! Consistantancy is a MUST with "the terrible two years" !

    Answer by mistynights234 at 11:30 AM on Apr. 9, 2009

  • The reason they are good with dad is because they dont have him all day to((test the waters))like they say .Be the parent Its called tough Love .If you have them watch cartoons ,Tell them you wont let them watch it anymore .If you punish them do it for short periods of time and stay firm do not contradict your self ..If you say NO stick to it .Eventually the crying will stop once they see they are not getting away with it .And the most important thing of all it the EYE CONTACT make shur you look at them right in the eyes so they know your not messing around .Youll see later on the look will be enough my gram has it with mom .mom has with me and i have it with my kids .It will be very stressfull and you need alot of repetative action . .i hope that helps

    Answer by hush84 at 11:31 AM on Apr. 9, 2009

  • Hush is right about "the look" my kids are 15 and 10 and they KNOW they are in trouble with that look lol, it's great!

    Answer by Zakysmommy at 11:33 AM on Apr. 9, 2009

  • Get ear plugs for yourself and then in expensive head set for each that is a noise blocker, my husband's worn them in concerts to block out the concerts with our kids. Try Radio Shack or Best Buy, Apple. Each kid might be happy to lislten to their own sound. But the two's are bad. My grandmother had two sets of twins plus two other kids all birthed by her plus my husband's a twin. So I've heard the horror stories. The ear plugs absolutely allow you to hear but deafen their sounds, you'll then feel a little bit better and not so frustrated yourself about their age. Someone else suggested somewhere to whisper into a toddler's ear just any sound 'spppppp' to get their attention and whisper. Maybe each can play in a separate room for their own time or one in a playpen and one outside it so they're not so bothered by the other one grabbing toys? Can tjhey play outside more? Good luck the threes will come mommy. Really.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:33 AM on Apr. 9, 2009

  • 3's are worse than 2's lol

    Answer by Zakysmommy at 11:35 AM on Apr. 9, 2009

  • Talk to daddy. . Chances are there is something he is doing differently to deman their respect. See if daddy can pin-point some of the idfference in your parenting styles. If not, see if you can have someone watch you interact with the kids and him. Sometimes it's something as easy as you don't follow through. So it sometimes they are punished but sometimes not, they will lose respect for you and not listen at all. My dd is almost two and I can count to two and she'll do what I asked but grandma will get to three and dd will just laugh and run off. She knows who will follow through and who will not! :)

    Answer by ferdo0204 at 11:40 AM on Apr. 9, 2009

  • I have the same problem with my 2-year old. She tells me know all the time. Really it's because you are home with her all the time and she is just being a stinker. You do need to be consistent. I say put a gate up and put them in their room to cool off.

    Answer by ajbrownies at 1:28 PM on Apr. 9, 2009

  • Time outs don't work for my daughter. They increase her frustration and anger. Which equals more screaming. I would suggest ignoring it. When they scream just keep doing whatever you are doing. It will take some time but eventually they will learn that screaming doesn't get attention. When they are finished screaming, calmly explain that you don't understand them when they scream and they need to use their words. If they pull on your leg, whine, or start getting frustrated say things like "Do you need help" "Help?" over and over. Give them the words they need. You will feel like a broken record but eventually they will learn what words they need to get what they want without screaming.

    Answer by jcsscfam5 at 3:18 PM on Apr. 9, 2009

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