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How do I deal with feeling this way?

I am a working mom. I have a 1 year old boy, and I'm pregnant with my second. I have this intense fear that because I work from 8am-5:00pm and barely get to see my son at all, that he's going to forget that i'm his mom. When i go to pick him up from his grandmas (where he stays during work hours) he never wants to leave her. I'm so depressed, I want to just sob. I feel like he's forgetting me. But we're so poor I just can NOT afford not to work.

And thinking about leaving this baby when he's 6 weeks old to go back to work just kills me. My kids are going to forget me. They are going to grow up and I'm going to miss it. I feel like things are slipping out of my control. Help me!

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 12:02 PM on Apr. 9, 2009 in Money & Work

Answers (4)
  • Dont fret! Your kids arent going to forget you, you are their momma! I felt the same way when i was AD Marine. I went to work at 6a-6p, m-f, and some weekends. Its like the babysitter/daycare had them more than I did, and they loved being there, and complained when it was time to come home. But its just a phase. They grow out of it. If you want you can plan things on the weekends when you dont work so that you can spend as much time with them before its time to go back to work.
    I wouldnt worry too much about it. Children around 1 have separation issues with whomever they see more. hell I have seen kids as old as 4 have separation

    Answer by MSully3 at 12:40 PM on Apr. 9, 2009

  • You can have his grandma take pictures or even videos of him doing things, and you can also do the same when you have him. As long as you show him that even though you are working, you are still there for him always. He will come to understand that momma has to work, but that doesnt mean he wants to be with grandma more. I do hope it gets better.

    Answer by MSully3 at 12:42 PM on Apr. 9, 2009

  • I feel so sad for you. Your children will not forget you you are their mom. I was lucky to be able to be home with my son until kindergarten, but worked daycare for 8 years so I know the other side of feeling like the caregiver gets more waking time than the parents, but it is a different relationship. HE knows you are his momma, just make the most of the time you do have with him. Also before long your son will be able to stay up later and you will get more time together.

    Answer by goaliemom93 at 1:38 PM on Apr. 9, 2009

  • why did you let yourself get pregnant when you can barely afford or take care of one child? where is the baby daddy/daddies? life is about choices. you made your choices. time to learn how to deal with them.

    my mother passed me off to every friend and family member that would take me--including foster care for a while--before changing her mind. it shoudln't come as a surprise that i haven't seen or spoken to her in over 10 years...i'm 28 now.

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:02 PM on Apr. 9, 2009

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