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To call him Daddy Billy or just Billy ...advice please

My DD's dad sees her maybe 4 times per year.
My DH has girls two years younger than my DD who is 5.

My DH has been under my dd's roof longer than her father.
My DD calls my DH Daddy Billy. She hears his girls call him Daddy, three weekends per month.

My X is not happy with this. My DH is the only father figure that she has on a daily basis.

My X does not want my DD to call her stepfather Daddy Billy.

I feel as she gets older she can call him Daddy Billy or just Billy, what ever she wants to.
Am I wrong to let her call him Daddy Billy...
What would you do?

 
Dannee

Asked by Dannee at 12:04 PM on Apr. 9, 2009 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Level 12 (784 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (12)
  • When I was a kid my mom got remarried, I called him dad. Even though I seen my real father every weekend, I still called my stepdad, dad, simply because he was in the "father role" every day.
    I loved him the same as my real dad. I may have bothered my real dad at times, but he never said anything negative about it.
    My dad was also remarried, but I call his wife by her name. She was never in the mother role, as I did not live with them.
    Just my opinion, but let her call your DH what she is comfortable with.
    It is a shame that your ex has to be so insecure.
    NewMommyin06

    Answer by NewMommyin06 at 12:52 PM on Apr. 9, 2009

  • I wouldnt encourage her to change a thing. et her call the shots on this one, whatever she feels copmfortable with. A name is just a name, she can call him dad and him(or her bio dad, just talking hypotheticaly) could be the biggest jerk inthe world, or she could call him just Billy, and he be the best father in the world. Let her decide what to call him, as long as he is comfortable with it. I ahve 2 dads, and have since I was 1 1/2, to the point I haxd them BOTH walk me down the isle. Tell her bio dad that he needs to be more of a father if he doesnt want her to find a replacement, and even if he is, she can still have agreat relationship with her step dad. Good for you for havuig a man that loves your daughter so much, she is lucky.
    AK_aries

    Answer by AK_aries at 12:12 PM on Apr. 9, 2009

  • The X may not like it but that's his problem. If he was in her life two oe three weekends a month it might be a different story. Sounds like he may be voicing displeasure about this, but what he's really uopset about is that HIS child is closer to her Stepdad than to him. Don'tshake your daughter security up on account of an uinsecure adult.
    GrnEyedGrandma

    Answer by GrnEyedGrandma at 12:31 PM on Apr. 9, 2009

  • * grrr ...insecure. I so hate my own typos
    GrnEyedGrandma

    Answer by GrnEyedGrandma at 12:31 PM on Apr. 9, 2009

  • If your husband is in that father role to her and she wants to call him Daddy, that's fine. She knows who her real dad is.
    riotgrrl

    Answer by riotgrrl at 12:48 PM on Apr. 9, 2009

  • i would let her call him whatever she wants to call him. but be prepared that when your X gets married or whatever that you may have to deal with her calling her step-mom Mommy _______.

    its hard either way. it makes sense why it bothers him. but at the same time, you can't change her feelings.
    aly38914290

    Answer by aly38914290 at 1:10 PM on Apr. 9, 2009

  • My son, who is now 18 and was almost 4 when I met my husband, calls my husband "Dad" at home and to my husband. If he is with someone else, ie an Aunt or something, he will call him by his first name so he's not confused with his bio 'Dad'. Personally, I wouldn't worry about what your x thinks! It's not his business what goes on in your household!
    4kidsandadog

    Answer by 4kidsandadog at 1:16 PM on Apr. 9, 2009

  • OK... At home we call dudes dad "chris" he calls him "my daddy chris" to his face he calls him "daddy", to my hubby tom, its "daddy tom, tom, or dad" when he is at home, when he talks about him to "chris" he says "tom".. I think she can do what she feels is right, if he is telling her to stop then you need to tell him where he can stick it.. She doesnt need all this confuzn..
    HottMamaRossx2

    Answer by HottMamaRossx2 at 1:27 PM on Apr. 9, 2009

  • IMHO - if "X" doesn't like it, then maybe he should take a more active role in his daughter's life.
    jennijune_21

    Answer by jennijune_21 at 2:32 PM on Apr. 9, 2009

  • You just have to play it by ear and make sure that she feels comfortable enough to call him whatever she wants. My son calls my husband by his first name at the EX's house but daddy when he is home calls him daddy. its not about what you want but what is going to my the child feel like they have a home in both places that they dont have to choose. Good luck!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:20 PM on Apr. 9, 2009

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