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Is this rude?

A friend of mine got passed over for a job that she was told she was going to get. They also changed the payschedule at work so that she doesn't get paid until nearly 3 weeks after her return from an absence, when she was expecting it to be 1 week. She was expecting to get a 3 day check 1 week after she came back. Now she is getting a full check, but not until 2 weeks. I know that her and her husband had to pawn their computer to make ends meet while she was unable to work (she had surgery and doesn't get paid leave). Would it be presumptuous or rude of me to give her what cash I can afford to spare or to give her some non perishable foods I have stocked up on until she gets paid again?


Asked by Anonymous at 12:36 PM on Apr. 9, 2009 in Money & Work

This question is closed.
Answers (5)
  • I would suggest that you ask her what her needs are. She might say nothing that would give you a chance to say that you are willing to help. You heard her talking about what is happening at work so are there some ways I can help you get through this time for you and your family?

    This way she still feels in control of her dignity.

    You could also have a few friends pitch in and have a local police officer deliver food or money to the family annonymously.

    A local food bank could help out as well.

    Many times pride and shame get in the way of receiving from others.

    Think of how you would feel and then be as compassionate as you can to let her know this is coming from your heart.

    You are a gift.

    Answer by LegacyKimberley at 12:47 PM on Apr. 9, 2009

  • I think that'd be really generous of you! But.. it always depends on if she takes it the wrong way or not.. you can always tell her she doesn't have to accept it if it makes her uncomfortable.

    Answer by anestheticsex at 12:37 PM on Apr. 9, 2009

  • No basically i would sit her down and ask her or tell her that you just want to help as a friend. My family does this alot. We help when someone else is not doing so well. One thing that we say is that you don't have to pay us back. now we do anyway casue thats just hoe generous we are, but it is not rude or anything. YOu basically doing it out the goodness of your heart.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:40 PM on Apr. 9, 2009

  • No. I'd like to think that your friend would be thankful for your help.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:42 PM on Apr. 9, 2009

  • There are plenty of little ways to do things for her. Maybe you could ask if she needs anything while you're in town and then not let her pay you back...or invite her family over for dinner? Small things like that.

    Answer by kabbot01 at 3:50 PM on Apr. 9, 2009