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The big question came last night

So, I have been talking to this guy for about 3 weeks. I met him from eharmony. He knew I had 2 kids and was fine with it. He asked me last night if they had the same father and I said no. Now I feel insecure. Every time I think of my kids having different fathers and me not with either one I feel so trashy. How can I feel better about myself? I really hope I didn't scare him off, he's a nice guy so far.

My kids are 8 years apart and had my first when I was 19.


Asked by Anonymous at 1:24 PM on Apr. 9, 2009 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (27)
  • Well, if I were you I wouldn't look at it like that. Look at it as you have two beautiful kids that you love. If somebody you're interested in asks about them. Tell them straight up. No, they don't have the same father, but they ARE 8 yrs apart, and both of their dads were lying cheating whatevers. You know you arent trashy. I don't have 2 kids with 2 dads but if I did, i would know exactly what you are saying. I'm scared to be in a relationship with someone else because i dont want to have kids with two different dads because i would feel trashy too. i thought about that for a LONG time. now that i read your question and look at my response, i might actually leave this one and look for one that really LOVES me, and wants more kids =]

    Answer by mommykayti at 1:32 PM on Apr. 9, 2009

  • A lot of times, things just don't work out. You can feel like you've met the one and have kids, and 20 yrs later something happens, and you separate. If he doesn't like you because of that, then why would you even care?? Sounds pretty shallow to me.

    Answer by Sitar21 at 1:27 PM on Apr. 9, 2009

  • I would feel bad about myself to....that's why I would never let that happen

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:27 PM on Apr. 9, 2009

  • Honey, its done. There is no sense in worrying about it and no sense in letting someone you've only known 3 weeks make you feel trashy for it. Are you taking care of your children? Doing everything you should? Yes? Then answer honestly and if he can't handle it, he can't handle you.

    Answer by kabbot01 at 1:27 PM on Apr. 9, 2009

  • Oh look...anon showed up to be a b*tch.

    Answer by kabbot01 at 1:28 PM on Apr. 9, 2009

  • Anon-way to jump to conclusions. You don't know the situation I was in. Would you stay in a relationship if your husband was cheating and got another woman pregnant? Or, if your ex did a lot of hurtful things? I don't think so. I am stronger than that.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:28 PM on Apr. 9, 2009

  • Theyre 8 years apart? Whats trashy about that?


    Answer by BEXi at 1:30 PM on Apr. 9, 2009

  • My kids are 8 years apart and had my first when I was 19.


    That's explaination enough sweety.   Men don't care as much, or think as deeply sometimes, as we think they do. If he judges you then he ain't for you.


    Answer by PaceMyself at 1:30 PM on Apr. 9, 2009

  • Stop beating yourself up. You are a good mother (I'm sure). You have moved on I am sure and if he has a problem with it you weren't meant to be together and you should find someone else who is more understanding!

    Answer by ajbrownies at 1:30 PM on Apr. 9, 2009

  • if its from an ex husband its more understandable but if it is from just a boyfriend then that bad. You shouldn't have kids with someone when you arent' married

    Answer by worriedmommy600 at 1:30 PM on Apr. 9, 2009

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