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is anyone married and don't know if they really want to be anymore?

i'm married, and i do love my husband but parts of me feels like we'd both be happier if we weren't together. we fight alot. not bad fights, just arguments and we say things to hurt each other.. and when things are good , they are really good, but that's so rare. most of the time, we're fighting or arguing and not getting along. does this happen to all married people.. ? we've been married almost 3 years.. no kids ..

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Asked by Anonymous at 1:47 PM on Apr. 9, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (5)
  • Arguments and small fights are inevitable. However, if it is constantly happening, you might want to reevaluate your communication skills. Both you and your husband have to work at ending the name-calling. It shows a lack of respect and can cause some real resentment between you. My husband and I have been together 5 yrs and this has been a problem for us as well. We find that the more dedicated we are to communicating our true feelings as opposed to name calling, it works out much better in the end and we fight less often overall. Hope this helps! Best of luck!

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:55 PM on Apr. 9, 2009

  • I say the original post is pretty good advice. Talk. My husband and I rarely fight, or have a bad argument. But when we do we both try to not say hurtful things we will regret or yell at each other. It just makes it worse we think.

    Answer by MommaM2 at 2:05 PM on Apr. 9, 2009

  • I think that we find out how the other person really thinks when we have disagreements. It's easy to gloss things over and make nice when things are running smoothly. You can surely disagree without taking cheap shots. You can even point out another's flaws and make it somewhat palatable. The key is in wanting what is best for the marriage and not in wanting to have your own way all the time. Love is more about choice than it is about warm fuzzy feelings. Feelings come and go, but the choice to love should be for a lifetime. It only takes one person to stop an argument. If you are criticized, all you have to do is say thanks for the opinion and that you will think about it. Boom! Argument over! It can actually become helpful if you really do think about it and ask yourself if there's any validity to the charge. I've learned a lot about myself that way. Attitude is everything.

    Answer by NannyB. at 2:34 PM on Apr. 9, 2009

  • I go through the same debate, but I have 3 kids. I stayed married because he is a great father, but he fails miserably as a husband. I feel like I would be a much happier person if we weren't together and I know life is short. I feel selfish breaking up the family, so we stay together. If you want kids, I would suggest doing some soal searching and find someone you are happy with. Good luck.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:41 PM on Apr. 9, 2009

  • The first few years are like that. Personally speaking, my husband and I were the same way. After about 5 years you kinda learn what sets each other off and you stop fighting as much. YOu're still getting used to each other. Give it some time and I would also reccomend getting marriage counseling if you are having trouble communicating effectively.

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:46 PM on Apr. 9, 2009

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