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guilt????

How can you be a successfull working mom without the guilt? I like my job and I'm really good at what I do. I feel guilty not just for leaving, but for working late. I work second shift and sometimes when I leave for work she is asleep and when I get home she is not up for more than a hour or so. My husband tells me to quit my job and just stay home, but like I said I like what I do. How do I find a middle? Help me working mom's. I'm 26 and feel so lost.

 
mamanpnk

Asked by mamanpnk at 4:39 PM on Apr. 9, 2009 in General Parenting

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Answers (9)
  • The only way to work hard and not feel guilty about it is to BE A MAN INSTEAD.... Lol.

    That being said, I used to work second shift and so I know what that is like to come home and have your child already asleep. But I was there for her all day until I left for my shift. If you love what you do I don't think you should leave your job because of mommy guilt. That street goes both ways, and if you leave your job and feel unfilled and sad, your kid will pick up on that. You have to be true to yourself and that is the only way to be the best mom you can be.

    Spend quality time with daughter before you leave for work. Always tell her how much you love her! It is a juggling act for sure, but it gets easier as they get older. Hang in there and good luck to you.
    TieDyeMom

    Answer by TieDyeMom at 4:55 PM on Apr. 9, 2009

  • THERE IS NO MIDDLE, YOU CAN ALWAYS GO BACK TO WORK WHEN SHE GET OLDER, THIS WAY, YOU CAN HAVE BOTH ONLY NOT ALL AT ONCE. YOU WILL NEVER REGRET BEING A STAY AT HOME MOM EVEN FOR A WHILE, THOSE MEMORIES AND FIRSTS OF EVERY LITTLE THING YOU CANNOT GET BACK ONCE THEY PASS. PRIORITIES FIRST.
    older

    Answer by older at 4:49 PM on Apr. 9, 2009

  • I know, it's hard. I get like 2hrs a night with my daughter, and I hate it. I HAVE to work though. If you don't, maybe work part time or a different shift??
    Sitar21

    Answer by Sitar21 at 4:51 PM on Apr. 9, 2009

  • I never got a chance to stay home with either of my boys, I had to work but I couldn't imagine being able to be a stay at home mom-I would go nuts, just because I've worked since I was 16 and have never had more than a few days here and there as vacation! I think that you can find a happy medium, think about switching your shifts or reducing your hours to part time that way you have more time with the baby. If you can reduce your hours and your employer can accomodate it I think you should, specially if hubby wants you to quit altogether but keeping your job at least PT would be great just for your sanity...I would miss adult interaction!
    LuvmyFam6

    Answer by LuvmyFam6 at 4:56 PM on Apr. 9, 2009

  • Can you transfer to first shift?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:04 PM on Apr. 9, 2009

  • try finding another shift
    krstqt123

    Answer by krstqt123 at 5:59 PM on Apr. 9, 2009

  • My job is full time or no time. I am not a morning person and think that if I changed shifts I would get fired. I have worked since I was 15 and I was put off work half way thru my preg and I went nuts but then again I didn't have her here with me. I will def miss the adult interaction. i love alot of my co-workers. But I love my daugther more. My head is spinning.
    mamanpnk

    Answer by mamanpnk at 7:04 PM on Apr. 9, 2009

  • If you have to work try getting a day shift. I work 9-5:30 M-F and I really miss my little angel while I am gone but I have to provide food, clothes, etc...Or maybe you could try doing split shifts or part-time. I did split shifts until she was able to talk so I know what is going on with her during the day. I was overly paranoid about daycare b/c of all the horrible things you hear but I was blessed in finding a truly wonderful sitter. GL momma
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:33 PM on Apr. 13, 2009

  • I've worked since all my kids were a few months old. The guilt never goes away, it actually gets much worse. My 13 year old son has baseball after school that I have to miss. My 6 year old has afternoon birthday parties and girl scouts that I have to find rides for her. But I have no choice. I love my job and I need the money.
    mompam

    Answer by mompam at 4:19 PM on Apr. 13, 2009

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