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Please don't bash, but i dont understand why my mother wants me to attend church so badly and that it will make everything better.

I don't really have any major problems in life other than a terrible debt , that i can't get out of because it just keeps snowballing, and living paycheck to paycheck. And it is not that i don't believe in god or anything it is that i don't particularlyt like the church my mother attneds and don't really know where i should try to go. I think i dread it more because as a child i was forced to go to a church i wasn't really comfortable in. But i don'e understand how she thinks going will help my with a debt problem? It isn't like money just appears because you go to church or you pray. Although she thinks that praying will get you everything. I just don't understand where she is coming from

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 5:21 PM on Apr. 9, 2009 in Religion & Beliefs

Answers (12)
  • Your mom needs to lay off, youre a grown woman. Sorry I cant help you much.

    BEXi

    Answer by BEXi at 5:23 PM on Apr. 9, 2009

  • I'm not sure where she's coming from either. The answer to my debt problem came in the form of bankruptcy. Ahh the sweet relief. Never regretted it once. But if you are that uncomfortable going don't go. I was going to say you got nothing to lose by going, but there's no point if it makes you miserable. Good Luck!!
    2autisticsmom

    Answer by 2autisticsmom at 5:24 PM on Apr. 9, 2009

  • My mom is they same way... Its cuz they believe so deeply in it that they feel its the only way of life... IMO it is not.
    soonmommyof3

    Answer by soonmommyof3 at 5:28 PM on Apr. 9, 2009

  • Well, she may be like my ILs. Some people feel that God will not help you and you are some how lesser because you don't attend church. You don't need to listen to anyone but yourself when it comes to spirituality and going to church. You will feel when if ever it is right for you to go.

    hannahwill

    Answer by hannahwill at 5:30 PM on Apr. 9, 2009

  • Often when people find something that is meaningful for them, that brings them peace in their lives and a sense of direction or connection or hope... they tend to think that is universal, that they've found the One Big Answer to everyone's life situation. It's understandable, and it just means that for HER, her church has been helpful. She's just not realizing that it's not the same for you, that it doesn't resonate with your soul in the same way. If you aren't interested in finding another church, you can simply be up front with her about your beliefs, and that this church's teachings are not something you agree with. You're an adult, and you can be compassionate with her need to feel like she's helping you, but still set your boundaries. Every time she brings it up, say, "I love how much you care about me, Mom, thank you. My spiritual needs are all met right now. Could you pass the jelly?" and drop it. Repeat as necessary!
    Collinsky

    Answer by Collinsky at 5:31 PM on Apr. 9, 2009

  • You dont need the four walls of a church building to pray to God and ask for necessary needs to be met or for forgiveness. If it's anything that I learned as a child/young adult forced to attend a catholic church(even when i wanted to try other christian denoms including a non-denon christian church) was that you don't HAVE to attend any service as your relationship with God is your own and nobody should tell you how you should live your life.

    However, perhaps your mother is looking more at the fellowship of a church than miraculously having money fall from the sky(exaggeration here to your original point LOL). You can attend church sponsored functions at a church of YOUR CHOICE, it doesn't have to be your mom's church and meet some new friends who may help you out of the snowball effect. Some of us are just destined for harder roads in this life, myself included...(cont)
    CinderAmethyst

    Answer by CinderAmethyst at 5:32 PM on Apr. 9, 2009

  • I attended catholic church, then pentecostal then presbyterian most of all my life, until I found my current path which makes me happier. I'm not any less in a predicament than I was when I was younger, but I think it's important for SOME people to have some type of "spiritual grounding" in there life that keeps them focused. And interacting with those of your chosen religious path will help you find yourself eventually. Just let your mom know that you choose to attend a church of your choosing and let her know if she loves you she will be happy that you have God in your life regardless of the wording on the buliding where you choose to worship or attend activities.

    Let me just add that even if there is no God or Goddess or whomever in your life, social interaction with those who are like-minded will tend to make you feel better about yourself and your current situation whatever it may be.
    CinderAmethyst

    Answer by CinderAmethyst at 5:35 PM on Apr. 9, 2009

  • Being in church of focusing on thoughts of prayer from ourselves or the bible or doing yoga or karate or another exercise, bicycling, running all help our mind to slow down and think more clearly of where we want to go and how to get there. You don't have to go to your mom's church no matter what unless you want to retry your old church w/her or her new church w/her for her guidance in yr life. I'v been praying praying omG praying for guidance and searching the internet for my religion's words to guide me. Last night I finally found them. I can get to church but I'm not comfortable in church. But I'm comfortable praying at home, the park, when I drive etc. Look up, if you want a new church or reiigion, that on the web just google keep googliing different things about what you need want if you want religion. Your not bad if you don't. You're still good. If you've no partner or do try Displaced Homemakers for life $ help.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:41 PM on Apr. 9, 2009

  • when you have God it makes everything better... Going to church mait help you but if you dont feel the love of Jesus you will not get nothing out of church
    hinson7169

    Answer by hinson7169 at 6:05 PM on Apr. 9, 2009

  • I am pressured by my in laws to go to church... they really have your best interest at heart, but they need to learn that browbeating you about it will only make you want to go less...

    I don't go to church regularly, but you can still have a personal relationship with God if you make sure to take the time...

    and really my ILs are baptists, I am not sure I agree fully with their teachings... if we go to another church then that isn't good enough for them, we have to go to theirs... so I don't know if a different church will solve the problem but i might try going to some others to get a feel for what YOU personally need spiritually.
    LuckyClown

    Answer by LuckyClown at 7:25 PM on Apr. 9, 2009

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