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Advice Please..............

My friend's son was just arrested and charged for first-degree murder. I know the kid and he's a decent guy, but is involved heavily in drinking and drugging. Chances are, if he did actually commit this crime, I would imagine it was drug induced (not that that would be an excuse, but he's not the type to be malicious and kill in cold blood.) He told her he didn't do it. There's a lot of conflicting stories as to what happened. The course of events that he described doesn't make any sense at all. And the evidence the police have seems pretty cut and dry. My friend truely believes her son is innocent. And he might very well be. But how do I convince her to be rational and realize that it's a very REAL possibility tha the did commit this crime? She's alread devastated that he's been accused and arrested. But I don't want it to come out that he did do it, and for her not to be prepared for that. Suggestions?

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Asked by TheDiva320 at 5:46 PM on Apr. 9, 2009 in General Parenting

Level 7 (156 Credits)
Answers (6)
  • I would say, just be her friend and let her vent......she probably doesn't really want your opinion right now anyway. The facts will come out eventually and you can either celebrate or cry with her. She needs a good friend more than she needs anything!

    Answer by christyg at 5:58 PM on Apr. 9, 2009

  • Don't say anything. I promise if you do she'll hate you. Just be a friend and let her figure it out. I'm sure she knows but as a mother she is not thinking with her mind but her heart.

    Answer by lstrickland at 6:10 PM on Apr. 9, 2009

  • I wouldn't try. She is aware of the possiblity and needs your support, not warnings.

    Answer by kaycee14 at 6:45 PM on Apr. 9, 2009

  • it doesn't matter if he did it or not really. Once it's in the hands of the law they have to prove it legally and that's what matters. It's a procedural thing. Maybe the mom is thinking of it in that legal way. Either way, I'd leave her alone and let her deal with it on her own. It's not easy to have a child incarcerated. Let her know there are groups for women with kids in jail/prison here on CM. There are not a lot of support groups for that out in the world.

    Answer by admckenzie at 8:02 PM on Apr. 9, 2009

  • Thank you guys for all your advice!!! And thank you for informing me about the groups, I will inform her of those too.............i'm sure that will help. Right now, I'm just the sounding board and letting her talk to someone. I don't have experience with this sort of thing, so I can't really give her any advice. Other than to just let the lawyers do their job. Please keep them in your prayers though. If I've learned anything, it's the power of God can help with these things.

    Answer by TheDiva320 at 10:44 AM on Apr. 10, 2009

  • the police say what they want if she is really close help her investagate the case then u both will know kids show different sides of them self to different peole you might not have seen his bad side or maybe things just went to wrong that day and he cant belive he would do it so blocks it out

    Answer by nanalove777 at 1:20 PM on Apr. 11, 2009

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