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IF YOU HAVE BEEN DEVSTATED???

BY YOUR HUSBAND BY AN EMOTIONAL AFFAIR CAN YOU EVER GET OVER IT???? PLEASE SOMEBODY TELL ME WHEN THE PAIN WILL GO AWAY? I KNOW IT IS A STUPID QUESTION BUT I AM DYING INSIDE...

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 8:00 PM on Apr. 9, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (5)
  • the pain will go away when you allow it to go away. It's not easy but each day let a bit of it go or you will give the affair power over your life. You don't want that I'm sure. Channel your energy to making him want to be with you again. It can work out if you let it. You have the power to make it work out in your favor and without pain.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 8:04 PM on Apr. 9, 2009

  • my husband cheating on me while we were still dating. I kicked him out and never wanted to see him again. We kept out distance for over 8 months. Once we saw each other again I was still very hurt, but it seemed like something just kept bringing us together. I have since forgave him and we got back together. That was 3 years ago, we are now married and have our first child. Because of how he acted after cheating and how he has treated me since I *KNOW* he will never do it again.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:09 PM on Apr. 9, 2009

  • I know for me, I could never truly forgive cheating and it would be in the back of my mind forever. I have had to terminate a long term relationship because of this. It isn't fair to either of you if you know you're always going to be this hurt and even resent him.
    kabbot01

    Answer by kabbot01 at 8:27 PM on Apr. 9, 2009

  • My husband had an emotional affair at work. Texting flirting etc. It just about killed me. He goes threw some mid life issues and I have to pay. He apologized and things are alot better between us now, but its always there. I have no real trust. His phone rings or hes gone and my mind wonders. Marriage is for better or worse so you need to stay with it and work it out if you can, but I dont think youll ever forget but the pain will go away. Its been about 4 months so it doesnt happen overnight. Best wishes
    desperateat48

    Answer by desperateat48 at 8:29 PM on Apr. 9, 2009

  • Whew. I have been where you are. I won't lie to you and say you get over it. Because you don't. But you do have a choice. You can choose to feel sorry for yourself for something that wasn't your fault or you can tell yourself that you are better than that and you deserve better. Because you do.

    We women...are divas. We all are. We are mothers, daughters, sisters, cousins. We are faced with choices that men could not possibly fathom. My theory is Never mistake generousity for weakness. There is a huge distinction between the two. Forgive him. Then forgive yourself. If you put thought into the affair, thinking about it, you allow them to have power over you. So you forgive him for hurting you then you forgive yourself for hating him for it.

    To have an affair means usually the other person will explain away the reason why they strayed. The bottom line is THEY strayed..not you. You devoted time to the relationship...will he?
    lilbit022009

    Answer by lilbit022009 at 8:31 PM on Apr. 9, 2009

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