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Family

Ok so my mother-in-law wants to Keep my daughter over night and I really don't want her to have her expecailly right now cuz my daughter is only a month old and she cries all the time and wants me me me only she does NOT want anyone else! Also she has this old crib from when her kids were little and her kids are now 23 and 26 and I really don't think the crib is safe and I have an extra pack and play but she didn't want it! But she told my hubby that she set it up and got crib sheets but I don't think this crib is safe! What should I do? SHould I let my daughter spend the night? Also she is up all night and won't even sleep in her crib and my mother-inl-law does not know that cuz she will have a fit if she knows she is sleeping with me what should I do?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 8:43 PM on Apr. 9, 2009 in Babies (0-12 months)

Answers (8)
  • Explain to your MIL that she is still a little young, and maybe when she hits 2 or 3 months and is sleeping better at night you will let her go. Let her know that it is not just her, that goes for all of your family as well.

    Go to her house and inspect the crib yourself. Check the sizes in between the rails and make sure it is sturdy. 23 years old is a tad much. If it doesn't stand up to expectations, tell her so. Tell her its not safe, show her current requirements for a crib. Offer to buy her one if she refuses to use the pack and play, or go in on one 1/2 and 1/2 with her.
    CarolynBarnett

    Answer by CarolynBarnett at 8:47 PM on Apr. 9, 2009

  • tell your MIL she is still too young to be away from home. however, you could invite her to stay the night at your house, if the point is that she wants to help you out she could stay the night one night and be the one that gets up with her. or come during the day and give you a few hours free time. as for the crib, no its not safe if it is that old. maybe get some pamphlets from the doctors office, or next time she comes over leave a printed article from the internet ( a good source though like mayo clinic or something ) about crib saftey and just be like ya did you see that? and try to bring the convo around to her older crib, " i know you want to use that one when DD is at your house, however after reading this and talking to our pediatrician i have found out that older cribs tend to not have the saftey standards required today, so i'm sure we would both feel better if she slept in that pack and play i sent over" CONT
    vabchmommy

    Answer by vabchmommy at 8:49 PM on Apr. 9, 2009

  • that way she doesn't feel you are attacking her. and you don't have to get into a fight with your MIL over your daughters saftey. i did that with the whole sleep on the back thing for my MIL she kept insisting DH and my SIL slept on their tummies and were fine so i finally left a parenting mag open on the coffee table to an article on SIDS and how to reduce it and she was like "oh my i didn't know" i really wanted to say yes you did, you just thought i didn't but said "ya, please try to keep her on her back when you put her down" and she never said anything about it again.
    vabchmommy

    Answer by vabchmommy at 8:51 PM on Apr. 9, 2009

  • Family what a blessing...what a pain!

    Is there no compromise here, I agree the baby is just to young, I have 7 kids and none of the spend the night at grandmas until about 2 and I know they are ok.

    Maybe have her (MIL) stay the night at your house, with baby care being left up to her, this could be a great rest for you, and a good compromise, approach it along the lines of..." I Know you are excited about being a grandma and can't wait for the day of overnight stays BUT (put the blame on you) her nor I are ready to be seperated, you must remember how that is? So maybe you could stay here and help out and if I am needed I am in the next room and not up the street" something like that. Leave the crib out of it for now there will be plenty of time to approach it, also measure the slats in the crib and see if they meet standards, my friend used hers from a baby and it met standards...some do some don't. good luck.
    luckysevenwow

    Answer by luckysevenwow at 8:54 PM on Apr. 9, 2009

  • just tell her you arent ready yet. i would just tell her how you feel if you dont think its safe then just tell her. i think that the crib would be fine but thats just me lol....
    krstqt123

    Answer by krstqt123 at 8:54 PM on Apr. 9, 2009

  • You are not being unreasonable! I think that MOST moms would not leave their baby overnight. Your mother instinct is saying she is too little, she needs he mommy, and you are right! Listen to your instincts and stick to your guns! I would simply respond with "I'm not ready to be away from her overnight." Don't get into any reasons or arguments with her, just keep repeating the same thing "I'm not ready to be away from her overnight."
    As for the crib, find some info on-line about crib safety and the danger of used cribs to show your MIL. When YOU are ready for your baby to need a crib there you tell her, she will need to use this crib (the one you give her).
    maggiemom2000

    Answer by maggiemom2000 at 9:29 PM on Apr. 9, 2009

  • Don't be afraid to set boundries...but since its your MIL, your DH should do it. I have no problems telling any family member they are overstepping. My mom doesn't over step, but my brother does and I often have to tell him to butt out. When My MIL came to visit and she overstepped, my dh set her straight. We were kind, but firm and feelings were easily mended. She's too young and I would especially tell her, you will never let her sleep in that crib. So tell MIL, 1. Not yet...2. not ever in that crib and show her stats on crib safety
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:12 PM on Apr. 9, 2009

  • I LOVE my mother-in-law....she is wonderful, and great with babies....more patience than a saint.....helpful to a fault......super paraniod about safety.....and I STILL wouldn't leave an infant to sleep over unless it was absolutely necessary.

    You need this time to develop the strong mommy/babby bond. She can come to your house if she wants to, but NO WAY would I let a baby go!!!!
    christyg

    Answer by christyg at 1:50 PM on Apr. 10, 2009

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