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How do I say not interested nicely?

Ok I joined one of the online dating sites, and a man started emailing me. He seemed ok but when I asked him to send a pic I realized there is just no way I would be interested. I don't judge just by looks but he is so far from my type of guy that I just don't want to even email anymore. I don't want to hurt his feelings or make him think I'm shallow. How do I say I'm not interested nicely?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 3:39 AM on Apr. 10, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (6)
  • I would just tell him you are pursuing another relationship

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:40 AM on Apr. 10, 2009

  • Yeah I would lie about it too. I'd say you were talking to a few people and just started dating someone else. I couldn't tell him the truth. And I've been there before, lol! We went on a date to the movies and I was embarassed. I made up a lie about why we couldnt go out again. Shallow yes, but true.

    Answer by MamaChamp at 3:55 AM on Apr. 10, 2009

  • I'd let him know ASAP! The longer you do keep e-mailing him the higher his hopes will get. But unlike the others, I don't suggest lying to him. I would suggest telling him the truth. You're not interested. And you can still be nice about it:
    It was really nice getting to know you, but I need to be completely honest with you. You aren't really my type of guy.
    and leave it at that. Honesty is the best policy =) Don't lie to him...

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:12 AM on Apr. 10, 2009

  • Lying could come back to bite you. If you say you are pursuing another relationship, but he sees you still on the site he will either know that you lied and get angry, or think it didn't work and you are available again, putting you right back where you are now. I agree with anon 4:12- be honest. Besides, knowing how to kindly say no is important if you plan on being in the dating world. Which would hurt him more; hearing it now at this point, or later when he has invested more time and hope into a lost cause?

    Answer by mandaday at 6:47 AM on Apr. 10, 2009

  • I'm with the ones that said honesty... you can be nice about it. I think you can really like a person and not be physically attracted to them. Doesn't change that you like the inner person, but go ahead and tell him something so that he can maybe go on and find someone that likes the way he looks on the outside. And I think it'd be funny to find out that they're some really great looking guy that's loaded with money that was using a not too great pic so they could weed out the shallow ones.

    Answer by lisa_ann_p at 7:32 AM on Apr. 10, 2009

  • "After careful consideration and much self-examination, I have come to the conclusion that I should not get further involved in a courtship with you. This is no reflection on you, but I try to be very careful about these things so as to not mislead or disappoint another person. It has been nice to get to know a little about you, and I hope that you will find someone who is much better suited to you than I feel that I am." That should do it!!!!

    Answer by NannyB. at 8:11 AM on Apr. 10, 2009

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