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Why do so many people not get along with their in-laws?

I have read ssssooooo many times that people complain about their in-laws and how they don't get along. I was just wondering why not? Was it always like that from the beginning of the relationship with the significant other? Has anyone ever TRIED to improve the relationship with the in-law? I just ask, because I get along GREAT with my mother-in-law. She thinks of me as her own daughter (she has all boys), but we hit it off since the beginning...so I just cannot phathom why so many people don't get along? So, was there a particular event that caused your strained relationship? Thanks for helping me to understand!

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5_girlz

Asked by 5_girlz at 8:46 AM on Apr. 10, 2009 in Relationships

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Answers (13)
  • I used to get along with my husband's mother, but she has made so many nasty comments(your not good enough for my son and stuff) to me and she stripped at my wedding (300+ pound women by the way) and did some other stuff that was inappropriate. She lies and has been screwing around on the computer with men and then turns it around and says she isn't and then treats her husband like crap. I have tried to let things go and get along with here and then she just goes and does something else.
    jenniferlee_12

    Answer by jenniferlee_12 at 8:52 AM on Apr. 10, 2009

  • MIL was herself the whole time I just didn't see it until I got pregnant and it 100000 x worse. She's veryyyy controling, she wants to be in our financial business, she used to call hubby to remind him to pay rent I'm not sure if she still does (wtf come on now), She just wants to telll us exactly what to do with our money. She wanted me to get a job so bad when we knew I could afford to stay at home with my son. One day she told me "Please don't tell me your going to be one of those girls that stay at home and do nothing with your life *siiiiigghhhhhhhh*" I said well you know if that is what I want to do, its exactly what I will do!! I was so mad. Uh when I was 9 months pregnant I was sitting half indian style on her stool under her counter she came up and was like *GASP* Ashlee be a lady and quit sitting like a man!!!!" I just looked at her and said uh really?! I was so mad. She pressured us to get married the whole preg.
    amy31308

    Answer by amy31308 at 8:54 AM on Apr. 10, 2009

  • There were several different things that caused particular strain in my relationship with my MIL.
    Here are a couple.

    1. She left my baby shower after being there about 15 minutes. She asked for her gift to be moved the the front of the pile so I could go ahead and open it so she could leave. WOW, what a grandma. (sarcasm)

    2. She BEGGED to watch my first born while I was birthing my second. I agreed. So as I am in LABOR. My SIL calls with my son screaming in the background. I am like: Where is MIL? SIL says "Oh, she had a dentist appointment." SIL was just a teen and didnt know what to do to get my son to stop crying. "Geesh, reschedule your appointment!!!!!" I'm kinda busy ya know.

    We are night and day. She says up and I say down. I have a FABULOUS mother who would stand on her head if we needed her too, my MIL sleeps all day and NEVER comes to visit the kids, she live 2 blocks away.
    mom2twobabes

    Answer by mom2twobabes at 8:56 AM on Apr. 10, 2009

  • the whole pregnancy and as soon as I had my son. It got so old. After my son was born we were going to get married a month and half later and just do parents and siblings only. Well my mom made me get a dress for it and I was miserable buying a dress for only 15 people to see it? Max. So my mom told me we could wait and have a bigger wedding. So I was crying I was so upset, but I decided I was only doing it once so I was going to do it semi how I wanted so push it back 2 months. OMG YOU WOULD HAVE THOUGHT I LEFT HER SON WHEN SHE FOUND OUT. We were getting ready for church and she called Andrew YELLING at him, and he kept telling her" mom i have to feed mason i have to go and he was hanging up on her an she'd call right back. It was terrlbe absolutley terrible. OMG Uhm Hubbys cousins live next door and they said last summer she used to look through our mail every day lol. I could keep on going but i'm stopping with this.
    amy31308

    Answer by amy31308 at 8:58 AM on Apr. 10, 2009

  • I get along with my MIL to a point and then she says things that just make me mad! I think the reason I don't really get along with mine Is I got prego before my husband and I were married! There very religous and they think it will make there rep look bad in town cuz they are well known my MIL owns a coffee shop and my FIL is on the school board and things like that! She always is talking bad about me to her daughter and the other thing is I never really got into cheerleading and she is a couch and her daughter was a cheerleader and I told her is my daughter is anything like me she will not like it and that made her mad!!! But oh well she is my kid and she will do what she wants I'm not ganna push her like my MIL pushed her kids! But she has this big house and money and my mom is going through a divorce and has little money and I think that is another issue with her!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:05 AM on Apr. 10, 2009

  • I don't get along w/my MIL for the following reasons - she's an alcoholic (in denial) she's controlling, manipulative, she'll throw tantrums/guilt trips just to get what she wants - and if she doesn't get what she wants when she wants it, she'll make your life miserable, she's an all around toxic/narcissistic person who has caused LOTS of problems in my marriage. We were in marriage counseling 4 months after we got married because she couldn't "deal" w/the fact that DH is a big boy and not her baby boy anymore. The kids and I have no relationship with her at all and thats just fine with me.

    Fooph121780

    Answer by Fooph121780 at 9:53 AM on Apr. 10, 2009

  • I cant relate to those people.. Im single, but im still VERY close to my boys grandmother. She wishes her and her son were still together instead of him being with the ho-bag he cheated on me with. My ex hates that we are so close, but he will have to deal. He already ruined our relationship, no way im going to let him ruin another.

    BEXi

    Answer by BEXi at 10:01 AM on Apr. 10, 2009

  • ME and her son.... not her and her son.. ew!

    BEXi

    Answer by BEXi at 10:10 AM on Apr. 10, 2009

  • Well I don't get along with my mil and sil's mostly because they are 2 faced backstapping bitches whose only enjoyment in life is making others miserable! I have gone out of my way for years to try and have a good relationship with them but at some point you just have to say I'm not putting up with it anymore. Some of the things they have done to me are so awful you wouldn't believe it. Like when my fil past away my mil let my husband have his dad's gun collection then she called the police and said that I broke into her house and stole the guns. She said she would drop the charges against me if we paid her $2,000 cash, my parents had to pay her the money because we didn't have it at the time.
    Julia0331

    Answer by Julia0331 at 10:24 AM on Apr. 10, 2009

  • I got along fine with my inlaws for a while. My mil is insane and hates me. I was there for her when she had cancer and when she had a reoccurance. I have been the only person to send her cards and gifts. She was an abusive mom to her sons. My husband and bil had to go to therapy for many years to get past the abuse and mental torture she put them through. We still tried to have her in our lives since we thought she had gotten help and changed.

    I had my son after knowing her for 9 years. She changed almost immediately. When my son was 3 years old she hit him and it was over. We cut her out of our lives permanently. She is completely alone neither son speaks to her, she is single and has no friends. I don't feel sorry for her since she pushed everyone away. My fil is great and we get along fine.

    Sometimes we have inlaws that are mean and no matter how much you try you don't get along.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:35 AM on Apr. 10, 2009

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