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What do you think I should do?

Every time DH gets really mad at me, he tells me he's leaving me, goes to his brothers or friends house for a while, then comes back a few hours later. It's getting really old. I've done told him several times that I will not put up with him leaving. I've told him he better not leave just to play head games with me. I made it a point that he better not. Last year he pulled this and my friend and I decided to go to Wal-Mart to get my mind off of it. I seen him pull out of Wal-Mart trying to get away from me. I followed him and he sped and took all kinds of back roads to get away, then he hid. I finally said screw it, and went back home. He comes back right as I get home, and he only did it to scare me and make ME feel bad. I screamed at him that night and told him he better not EVER play those stupid head games and leave just to try to make me feel bad. I was dead serious and he swore he wouldn't. He's did it a lot since then.

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 9:14 AM on Apr. 10, 2009 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (13)
  • I don't know how to answer you. I know you don't want to leave or get divorced, but I think if he really cares about you then he would realize that you were finally serious and think about what he is doing to you. He might get a taste of how YOU feel when he up and leaves like that. Every fight I have ever had with DH I have pointed out that if he had done the same to me this is what he would have done....see what I am saying? Most of the time he will think about what I have said for a while and realize that I am right he would have reacted the same way I did if our roles had been reversed. I'm not saying you have to leave and divorce him, but it sounds like you are scared that if you do leave he won't want you back.

    tandknix

    Answer by tandknix at 6:01 PM on Apr. 10, 2009

  • Next time he says that and does leave, do not let him come back.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:16 AM on Apr. 10, 2009

  • Sorry,continued from above. When he goes to his brothers or friends house he tells them what's going on then the whole family knows that we're fighting. He can't talk to me, but he can go up to their houses and tell them all about it. The bad thing is, we never really visit his family but every great once in a while and they already think it's ME causing it, even though it's not, so he makes it look even worse when he only visits them when we're fighting. They already know we're fighting if he's over there.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:16 AM on Apr. 10, 2009

  • I would leave his dumb ass! That is so childish he doesn't deserve to be in a relationship with you. My hubby has told me and i have told him that if either one of us ever walks out the door because of our arguing then it's over. We talked it out and said that if we were ever going to walk away from a fight it would be to cool down and we would say something b4 we walked away. It has helped.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:19 AM on Apr. 10, 2009

  • maybe he's jsut mad & leaves to get away from you so the fighting don't get worse, he could stick around, get pissed & beat the shit out of you
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:21 AM on Apr. 10, 2009

  • I think the running to the family whining is what's bothering her Anon... would piss me off too if they always think it's my fault and that maybe since he only comes around when we're fighting it's because I won't let him.
    the next time he does it, I would be gone when he got back or I'd have a new lock on the door.
    lisa_ann_p

    Answer by lisa_ann_p at 9:51 AM on Apr. 10, 2009

  • Tell him the next time he leaves, to not come back. Take the upper hand. Do not let anyone do that to you.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:23 AM on Apr. 10, 2009

  • Next time he says he's leaving, say "Hooray! Don't let the door hit ya where the Good Lord split ya!" Then call a locksmith, change all the locks, pack his things in a series of black plastic Hefty bags and set them gently on the front stoop with a note saying "Here's your shit, now split."
    Fistandantalus

    Answer by Fistandantalus at 10:38 AM on Apr. 10, 2009

  • I think at this point he doesn't take you seriously. You said "I screamed at him that night and told him he better not EVER play those stupid head games and leave just to try to make me feel bad. I was dead serious and he swore he wouldn't. He's did it a lot since then..."

    I think the mistake you made was in allowing him to do it the first time after that. It's the same principle when you are disciplining your kids. If you say something you have to stick with it or you get run over again and again. If you make a threat/promise you need to make sure it's something you can handle. Next time you get into a fight try telling him that you are tired of him leaving and that next time he decides to leave that you won't be there when he gets back. When he does it, pack a few things and go stay a few days with your family. You didn't say you were leaving forever, just that you were leaving. That should get your point across.
    tandknix

    Answer by tandknix at 11:07 AM on Apr. 10, 2009

  • geez, no offense but it sounds like you are playing the games not him. If you didn't chase him he would not have run. Just stop it and act like a big girl.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:09 AM on Apr. 10, 2009