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Fighting over child?

Me and my husband tried to conceive our son for 3 years. Then he came and was full of all day colic and my husband is far from patient and we fought a lot during his colic days and now that he's 17 months and starting tantrums, we are butting heads again. I thought we talked about ALL of everything before we had a child and now its like he wants to be TOO strict and I am the one reading the books and trying to be lovingly strict. he says I talk baby talk to him, that I let him run wild but in all honesty, that's not true and he thinks that if max is told 1 time no, he should "get it" . My point is - is this normal when you first have a child? I am SO tired of bickering - we don't do it in front of our son but we've been together for 12 years - I thought we were better than this.


Asked by maxsmom11807 at 10:22 AM on Apr. 10, 2009 in General Parenting

Level 29 (40,703 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (7)
  • Having a child in the house does cause stress...that's all it is. You just need to find a common ground.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:25 AM on Apr. 10, 2009

  • It sounds like your husband is just frustrated. At 17 months they dont usually go with no as an answer and listen. Maybe you could sign up both of you for a parenting class so he could see what is acceptable at diffrent age levels for discipline. Also that way if you both went he wouldnt think you were just trying to send him.

    Answer by okmommy08 at 10:25 AM on Apr. 10, 2009

  • I have looked for parenting classes in our community and there is only infant classes and birthing classes. Yes, he's frustrated and I am understanding to that. I just wish we could get on a common ground. I just can't seem to find it

    Answer by maxsmom11807 at 10:35 AM on Apr. 10, 2009

  • Maybe you can sit down and work out an agreement between you two. As long as you are on the same page and consistent I think it would work out no matter what the age. Like if he thinks telling him once should be enough and you think you should be able to tell him no 3 times, then you can compromise and agree that 2 times is it and then he has time out or whatever. 17 months is a little young, but if you start it now, then you have to be patient when it doesn't work and stick with it until he is old enough to understand.

    Answer by tandknix at 10:46 AM on Apr. 10, 2009

  • me and my husband still butt heads over the kids occasionaly they are 9,7 4 and 4 ,i think he is too strick and he thinks im a push over and i see that there is truth in both of what we see lol lol we just talk things out now instead of losing our heads over it .Just stick to a consistant way to discipline it will work out it wont be like that forever with you 2 .Kids change and grow and so do their attitudes and tantrums just dont give in and cave lol lol good luck sweetie

    Answer by freckles9399 at 11:12 AM on Apr. 10, 2009

  • Like i tell my husband my kids are my kids they come first..
    He can always become just a sperm donor if he pisses me off and tells me how to raise my little onesi carried them for 9 months i went thru the labor ...the man just sat there and DID NOTHING
    no MAN will tell me HOW TO RAISE MY CHILDREN i dont bump heads with my husband,...
    He is smarter than the typical man i hope you women find a backbone soon!

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:46 PM on Apr. 10, 2009

  • have you tried listening to your husband and doing what he said??? maybe he's right.

    I remember being that way with my firstborn and my husband was right...children can understand "no" from a really young age. my 23 month old has known and understood "no" since he was around 8 months old. I believe my older child understood at a young age as well but i was to stubborn to realize that and he learned to play us against each other really well.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:11 PM on Apr. 10, 2009