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Divorce and after

When you went through a divorce and then got over it have you ever stopped thinking that men are schmacks and idiots?
I have to say I have a very low opinion about men in general right now and wondering if I ever get over it.

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BeaMoore

Asked by BeaMoore at 10:59 AM on Apr. 10, 2009 in Relationships

Level 17 (3,412 Credits)
Answers (7)
  • You've probably come through a horrible experience. It will take time to heal. There are some wonderful and kind men out there. Not all of them are schmucks and idiots. Take care of yourself and give it some time.
    kathyartist2007

    Answer by kathyartist2007 at 11:02 AM on Apr. 10, 2009

  • Ive been right where you are. It got worse because all he guys I dated after my divorce were jerks. Finally I met a guy who wa nice, funny, loved my kids so I married him. Youre at an advantage right now make a list of qualities you want in a man and do not settle!!
    okmommy08

    Answer by okmommy08 at 11:03 AM on Apr. 10, 2009

  • I haven't but I just accept them as that and go on. I've been divorced 22 yrs
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 11:07 AM on Apr. 10, 2009

  • Even though it is hard- try and look and find your part in the divorce. Even if it was only picking the wrong guy- and he messed up the rest... that way you can learn from your issues and at least avoid the same mistake!! It might help you zero in on what is the right guy for you. Also- My heart match is my hubby- but to me he seemed all wrong for what I THOUGHT was what I needed. But my HEART kept drawing me to him, very insistent it was!! So I decided it must be important- to listen. It has taken a lot of work and growth (which we were both ready for) on both of our parts- but we have healed parts of each other that we weren't even aware were hurting... so... maybe take a break from men while you consider *yourself* and then when you feel open to the possibility- put yourself in situations where you might meet *him*!! Think *outside the box*!! There are keepers out there!!!
    mtnmama111

    Answer by mtnmama111 at 11:42 AM on Apr. 10, 2009

  • It could be that women are attracted to the same "type" of men or they attract the same type of men. I had this experience for awhile. When I changed my life and my way of thinking about men, I found one worth keeping. I also went through therapy for myself. I started late in that area and would have been much better off it I had went while I was going through my divorce. After divorce you have been burned and you naturally have your guard up. You look for similarities, compare and contrast each new man to your ex. If you haven't already, please find a therapist to talk to about the issues that ended your marriage. When you don't have someone to talk to about it, you end up either keeping it inside and making your new dates pay for the sins of your ex or you always talk about your ex to your new dates which will drive them away.

    legalmommy101

    Answer by legalmommy101 at 12:37 PM on Apr. 10, 2009

  • You have to find out what kind of men you want and stick to what you want. The problem is we pick a good looking guy and try to "change him" and that is where the problem starts. You can not change anyone so when you meet someone and has some of things you do not like just move on, do not wait to see if he changes.
    You will be fine
    gammie

    Answer by gammie at 1:09 PM on Apr. 10, 2009

  • I certainly haven't stopped thinking that men, and frankly people in general, suck. It is unfortunate, since I have a son, and I want to not think he'll be an asshole when he gets older too...but...if he learns from his father, we're all doomed.
    attorneymama

    Answer by attorneymama at 5:54 PM on Apr. 10, 2009

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