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SO and I have been dating for 3 yrs now...Will he ever purpose??

We have a fantastic relationship and we are living together. We do not have any children together, but I have a daughter who is 4 who he loves like his own and she loves him. She still knows who her real daddy is and sees him all the time too.
When we first got together, he had just gotten a divorce. And we have talked about marriage, before, and he says that it's not out of the question, but he still feels like he JUST got divorced. I am wondering if he will ever purpose, and if not, could I stay in a relationship without being married?? Is marriage all it's cracked up to be??

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:16 PM on Apr. 10, 2009 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (23)
  • It's time to have a straight talk with him on how he sees the future with you in it. If he still says he isn't ready for marriage, ask him what it would take for him to feel that way. My boyfriend went through a horrendous divorce 2.5 years ago where his wife took him for everything. The 1st few months we dated, he said he couldn't see how anyone could get married for anything but having kids (we're both over 50). A year later, he said marriage felt like a loveless business contract and until he could get rid of that feeling, he couldn't see himself marrying. A year later, I found brochures in his night stand of engagement ring information. I've been patient knowing we have a great relationship. If I hadn't seen the ring brochures, I was planning on having that serious conversation about our future.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:50 PM on Apr. 10, 2009

  • im not sure if he'll purpose, but give him time to propose if its really meant to be ;]
    aliciatron

    Answer by aliciatron at 12:18 PM on Apr. 10, 2009

  • Yeah, I would just hate to wait for 5+ years and find out I was wasting my time....
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:20 PM on Apr. 10, 2009

  • just give it time mama! SO and I have been together almost 2 years, have a baby together. we have kinda discussed marriage but he has seen friend's marriages fail and he'd hate that to happen to us, not that it would, but he's happy being an affinity couple for now and I am happy with the way things are.
    Owl_Feather

    Answer by Owl_Feather at 12:21 PM on Apr. 10, 2009

  • if your living with him WHY should he purpose. You girls just do not get it. YOU GAVE HIM THE MILK FOR FREE
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:24 PM on Apr. 10, 2009

  • That was back in the oldin days lady....Now, people actually try to date and live together before they get married. So you can find out if you can stand them or not.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:29 PM on Apr. 10, 2009

  • No, I don't think he will. If after 3 years, he's still clinging to "I just got divorced" he will most likely hang in there as long as it works for him. If he is living with you, he must believe he has nothing to gain by marrying you. I know this sounds harsh, and I don't mean it to be. Could you stay in a relationship w/o being married? Sure, you can do that, but you will always be thinking, why won't he marry me? What's wrong with me? You & DD are suffering for his past mistakes. He can say he just doesn't want to jump into things again and have them go wrong, but what does that say about you? That he doesn't trust you enough to marry you, that you are dispensible, if at some point in the future he decides to leave, he really doesn't have any ties to you (just a 3-yr past at this point) Is marriage all that? Yes, it is. It is a commitment between 2 people for the betterment of them and the family they have. Good luck!
    doodlebopfan

    Answer by doodlebopfan at 12:31 PM on Apr. 10, 2009

  • I was with my husband for 7 years before we got married. We have been married for 7 years and 2 months now. He was in a bad marriage before we got together. We've always had a great relationship.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:35 PM on Apr. 10, 2009

  • That is stupid!! you do not have to move in with someone to see . If you can not see while you are dating than you are blind.
    Not old, but sex has been around for a long, long time if you give away for free you get nothing back. I have a lot of guys friends and all say if the girl wants more she needs to respect herself.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:36 PM on Apr. 10, 2009

  • I think some of these ladies are being a little dramatic. Some people take longer than others to feel like they want to get married. Maybe he feels like he rushed into the 1st marriage and doesn't want to make the same mistake again. I would just give it time. If you are both happy, then what is the rush?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:37 PM on Apr. 10, 2009

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