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has anyone ever dealt with this?hes going to the marines...

should i let him go =( i already told him yes....
heres the problem...im a teenage mom (17) my baby is 2 months old today..my boyfriend is 19 he already took the test to get into the marines all he needs to do is graduate this year and on december he'll be stationed in cali..we live in milwaukee right now. hes going to be in bootcamp for 13 weeks then comes bak for 10 days then leaves for 4 years.the good thing is i get to move over their next year when i finish highschool..bad thing is..hes going to miss his sons 1st bday and many other 1sts =( ..even our anniversary..
he wants to go to the marines to givemy son and me a better future..when hes a marine they pay for the house and food and dental carel.he also gets to keep alot of pocketmoney,many great benefits here..so overall whats your opinion on this??

 
misty91

Asked by misty91 at 6:09 PM on Apr. 10, 2009 in Relationships

Level 2 (4 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (10)
  • As a wife of a former Marine all I can say is this. If he chooses to do this & you support him then yes he will miss many 1st! It will be your job to make those 1st very memorable. Take pictures & scrapbook if necessary. This way you can share these with him & let him know he was missed.

    You will want to make these events very memorable for you so you can share with him but more importantly you will find value for yourself. He can not fill the empty spaces you feel that will be up to you to do. He will fight & defend the country because he sees a better future for his son & he may feel this is one way to be responsible for the family.

    Marines & every service member have a team to be a part of & sometimes the S/O or Wife feels left out! You will have to come up with the ways to be connected even if you are not in the same city.

    My husband & I lived 400 miles apart for 2 years! It can be done with commitment! Luck 2 U
    LegacyKimberley

    Answer by LegacyKimberley at 6:27 PM on Apr. 10, 2009

  • If he can help support you two better in the long run and you can survive the year without him, go for it. You can't move into military housing after boot camp? You could transfer schools. I mean, you would have to be in a new school, but it may be worth it. I do believe you have to be legally married though before you can do military housing.
    Mom1Stepmom1

    Answer by Mom1Stepmom1 at 6:11 PM on Apr. 10, 2009

  • hes planning on marring me by law only on november when i turn 18.. =) no big wedding yet
    misty91

    Answer by misty91 at 6:16 PM on Apr. 10, 2009

  • Yea military life can be trying but it can be rewarding as well. You do need to be married to receive the benefits. They would move your family to his station. The first year is tough because you don't see that much of him. Everyone goes through that so you wouldn't be alone. The military families is a wonderful support network. Just talk to him about it and weigh the options.
    pnwmom

    Answer by pnwmom at 6:18 PM on Apr. 10, 2009

  • i mean i can really wait for him =) its just the thing about missing his sons first bday =/
    misty91

    Answer by misty91 at 6:19 PM on Apr. 10, 2009

  • there will be more birthdays and the little one won't remember the first one anyway. Should you "Let him go"? Sorry but you are not his mother. It sounds like he has thought this out and has a great plan. You should listen to him. He's making sense and you are merely being selfish, young and emotional. You'd have him forfeit building a future for you and your child just to have him eat cake at a one year old's birthday?
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 6:24 PM on Apr. 10, 2009

  • You know, in the scheme of things, missing his son's first birthday isn't that big of a deal. I mean, it will be hard, but he will be setting you guys up for an entire lifetime of better days. The benefits and the pay will make it worth it. He will have some leave. They won't keep him away the entire first year. He will go for boot camp, come home, go to specialty school, then come home. Depending on his specialty, that will affect his leave schedule. My ex was in the Marines. His school was 27 weeks I want to say. Figure out how long his secondary schooling will be and see if you can organize a party then while he will be home.
    Mom1Stepmom1

    Answer by Mom1Stepmom1 at 6:25 PM on Apr. 10, 2009

  • p.s. you can marry by law now. You can either get parental permission or claim Emanipated Minor since you have a child.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 6:26 PM on Apr. 10, 2009

  • My hubby is joining the Air Force in order to take care of our family. He leaves for basic June 9 and won't be home until mid august. Our son is due July 17th. He won't meet his son until he is a month old :( When he first went to the recruiter we weren't married yet, we had a wedding planned, but the recruiter said it would be best and easiest if we got married BEFORE he joined...and I would suggest that it what you do. You guys would really get so much more benefits from that and unless you guys absolutely need money NOW, I would suggest he wait until November for you to be 18 and get married. If you aren't married the only way you will be able to be with him at all is if you guys pay for it out of pocket. You should message me or something =] I'm sure I can relate and answer a lot of ?'s
    SandraB383

    Answer by SandraB383 at 6:30 PM on Apr. 10, 2009

  • Exactly it will be easier for you if you get married before he goes into basic. Wait till you are 18 then have him join after you are married or like another poster said get emancipated because you do have a child together. But all in all get married first. That way he is better able to provide for you.

    pnwmom

    Answer by pnwmom at 6:36 PM on Apr. 10, 2009

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