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Whats going on with my marriage??

Our baby girl is 10 weeks old and she is fantastic! But.....my husband and I are having trouble adjusting. We used to be really close and get along well. Now we have to do everything in shifts and I can tell it is wearing on us both. We disagree about parenting issues and he is easily frustrated with the baby when she cries. My husband has been working longer hours and I know this is to get out of the house. Then I get mad/jealous because he gets to be out of the house while i'm at home. Does it get better? What can I do? Is there any suggestions as to how to alleviate stress in the household?

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kellycali

Asked by kellycali at 6:19 PM on Apr. 10, 2009 in Relationships

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Answers (8)
  • Therapy is one suggestion. Try to get out of the house with your baby. Also try getting a babysitter so you two can go out alone.

    legalmommy101

    Answer by legalmommy101 at 6:24 PM on Apr. 10, 2009

  • Babysitter is a great suggestion. What you are dealing with is totally normal. Once you both get more sleep, and baby has a good solid schedule it will be better. When? I can't tell you that. Try to talk, and remember just because you are home and he works outside of the house, you still deserve a break, to sleep, and help with the night shift from time to time. That might help with the resentment. FYI: our oldest is going to be 8, and WE still disagree with parenting, so it is an on-going learning process. Best of luck and good wishes to you all!

    Teachermom01

    Answer by Teachermom01 at 6:28 PM on Apr. 10, 2009

  • This time doesn't last forever. Get a baby sitter, a friend or family member to help you out. Compliment your hubby when he is helping you out and ask for help a couple nights a week so you can get some sleep as well. It does get better. Enjoy this time with your lil one. They grow up mighty fast and you don't want to look back on their baby years with resentment. Good luck mama. Everything does get better.
    pnwmom

    Answer by pnwmom at 6:41 PM on Apr. 10, 2009

  • Yep. I would get a sitter on a regular basis. We try to go out once a month without our sons. It is amazing how much eat a meal out together alone can do!
    MommaM2

    Answer by MommaM2 at 6:56 PM on Apr. 10, 2009

  • My mom has always told me: "it gets easier after the first year". It's true, the first year is the hardest. It will get better, especially when the baby starts sleeping through the night. Don't worry. *hugs*
    AlleyK

    Answer by AlleyK at 6:58 PM on Apr. 10, 2009

  • it was the same way after i had my son, who is 7 months old. it definitely gets better so just hang in there. i know about feeling like you're being avoided, my SO goes to school in pennsylvania sunday through thursday so i'm like a part time single mommy and sometimes i get jealous that he gets 4 nights of awesome uninterrupted sleep. when he's home we always make a date night so we can have some alone time. and don't be afraid to tell hubby (nicely of course) to start pulling his weight. it's a team effort.
    r_elizabeth2290

    Answer by r_elizabeth2290 at 7:31 PM on Apr. 10, 2009

  • You will adjust. The rest of us did
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 7:41 PM on Apr. 10, 2009

  • The first year of my sons life was the most difficult adjustment on my huuby and i. We fought constantly. I honestly thought we werent going to last. I was miserable. Now my son is a year old and we are back to the old couple we were...happy as can be. You will get through it. I took everyones advice...go out, get a sitter, etc...none of it worked. Time was the only thing that mattered. You guys will get through it.
    AmandaL21

    Answer by AmandaL21 at 8:04 PM on Apr. 10, 2009

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