Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

he wants to hurt his cousin, what do I tell him?

his cousin caught me at my weak point. His family knows now because the cousin told one ... you know how that goes. He feels his cousin should be punished. This cousin we'll call E normally has sex with multiple females, and does alot of harm in other peoples relationship. My SO and I knew of this it was not hurting us.. this time it did. now my SO wants revenge, but E is still family?


Asked by Anonymous at 7:39 PM on Apr. 10, 2009 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (10)
  • ok....well...i agree with getting tested. but i must also remind you that it takes two to tango. im not in any way bashing you because people make mistakes. but you should also remind your S.O. that you are too old for "payback". i wouldnt have a good relationship with him if i were your S.O. but at the same time, payback is very high school. i would discontinue contact with him as much as possible. good luck and i hope you understand that i am in NO way judging you for the mistake you made.

    Answer by SThompson21 at 7:50 PM on Apr. 10, 2009

  • ok let me try to understand-you slept with E right? now S.O is mad and wants to get revenge on E. is that right and then i will give my opinion

    Answer by SThompson21 at 7:41 PM on Apr. 10, 2009

  • Let's see, he let E in the house. He allowed you to get drunk and he left E with you knowing E was the way he is. Hubby needs to take responsibility for what happened as well as you and E. It happened. It's over. Get tested for STD's and tell hubby to let it go. You can't make someone leave the family. You all were equally to blame for what happened. Deal with it.

    Answer by admckenzie at 7:43 PM on Apr. 10, 2009

  • I slept with E ( have been forgiven) E is a big flirt and I was at an emotional low, and really drunk in the confinds of my own home. ( hadn't drank anything since 2006. due to nursing) E was only in maybe 10 sec then I stopped him. my SO after along discussion forgives me, but feels like a punk if he does nothing to him

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:45 PM on Apr. 10, 2009

  • admackenzie.. I have made a few questions about this issue.. thanks for all your advice... E lived in the home for 2 years we never had this issue or anything similar.. Was tested thankfully every test is negative.

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:47 PM on Apr. 10, 2009

  • Quit blaming it all on the guy. You are a grown woman and CHOSE to sleep with him as well. You need to reiterate that to your SO so that he's not just mad at him. It sounds to me that you are helping the situation turn worse b/c you are putting all the blame on him. If you're telling strangers that it's all his fault, I am sure you're telling your SO that too. He is dumb to believe you.

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:57 PM on Apr. 10, 2009

  • I'm sorry but that's a ghetto mentality to have to have to "punish" someone or "pay them back." Can I ask how old you guys are? Has your SO ever been to jail?

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:59 PM on Apr. 10, 2009

  • I'm sorry but that's a ghetto mentality to have to have to "punish" someone or "pay them back." Can I ask how old you guys are? Has your SO ever been to jail?

    haha i agree. reminds me of the mafia. lol


    youre the sL** that chose to sleep with him. stop acting like the victim in here. psh.


    Answer by Anonymous at 10:56 PM on Apr. 10, 2009

  • I didn't think he'd forgiven quite so easily, I wouldn't have. I agree with the others... you all 3 need to take responsibility in this mess. I don't know if you were drinking already when you SO left the house and you were alone with his cousin, or if you chose to drink with his cousin alone, or if you were drinking and the cousin came home after you were already drunk... doesn't matter... people that are drinking, it doesn't make cheating any easier to forgive and doesn't take the blame off of them any at all... drinking only helps you do things you want to do without as much guilt at the moment... you said in the other post that your SO walked in on you... that's why you stopped, it wasn't because all of a sudden you decided it was wrong to be doing it.
    I'm not saying this is completely anyone's fault.. but punishing the ot her guy isn't going to change the fact his wife cheated for any amount of time

    Answer by lisa_ann_p at 9:48 AM on Apr. 11, 2009

  • FULL STORY.. Cousin lives in house.. all everyone had a drink. I had the most. I havent drank in years.. I am 25 my SO in 32, cousin is 28.. My SO and I both Marine Corps Vets. cousin still in Marines. I am not blaming cousin. that afternoon the cousin kept trying I said no.. one time I said nothing... yes it happened.. I stopped it prior to SO walking in.SO saw the aftermath, pulling up clothing. I got beat ( another story) . So forgives me.. not forgetting.. but feels cousin deserves something too. most likely cousin will do this to some one else. SO and I both knew that he was that type of guy.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:19 PM on Apr. 11, 2009