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My kids whine all day long. Am I doing something wrong?

Some times I feel like my kids spend most of their time whining and crying. I have a two year old and a soon to be one year old. My two year old has frequent tantrums and my one year old is always at my heals crying to be held. Its very frustrating because I feel like I must be doing something wrong. I am a stay at home mom and I spend a lot of QUALITY time with them. We play alot, go on fun outings, stay within a typical routine, cuddle, dance, sing.....anything to keep things exciting. But I feel like they are unhappy. I cannot make dinner, clean or have any time to myself with out them screaming for my undivided attention. I cook meals while they have tantrums then when my husband gets home we rush through our meal as they have more fits. Is this just the way it is? Am I doing something wrong? I am starting to feel really unhappy...I never imagined motherhood this way.

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Asked by Anonymous at 8:34 PM on Apr. 10, 2009 in General Parenting

Answers (6)
  • you have a daily and nightly routine? if so, the only thing i can really suggest is let them CIO. if they have tantrums/fits, just let them be and don't give them any attention. kids that do that want attention, and normally stop when they realize nobody is paying attention to them.

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:40 PM on Apr. 10, 2009

  • No, I think it sounds like you are doing a wonderful job. The only problem is that children are very selfish little creatures and they want your attention all of the time. We have an almost two year old and a one year old too. We spend time with them just like you do but when it is time to cook or clean, they either play with their toys in the floor or follow us about as we go. And if they whine we just tell them that they are okay and make sure to explain to them what we are doing and involve them in some small way. This usually does the trick, but if they get fussy then they are normally just tired. Just stick to your guns and don't feel guilty. You have to stay in control for them to be happy, if they begin to run the show then everybody is going to be miserable and they will turn into little terrors:-)

    Answer by lilhoney at 9:26 PM on Apr. 10, 2009

  • Do you give in when they whine? They could be tired or want something and not know how to verbalize it. I for one IGNORE ALL whining. I don't do well with whining. My son learned early in life. I was a daycare provider with toddlers and didn't tolerate it there. They may not be able to talk but they do NOT need to whine. The director thought I was crazy telling the kids to "use your words". I would say the word of what they wanted and they tried to say the word or some version and the whining stopped. Not only was the director impressed, the parents were too. Their kids even stopped whining at home. I shared my methods with the parents. NO child needs to whine or grunt for what they want or need.

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 9:59 PM on Apr. 10, 2009

  • playpen if the whine stick em in they get out bedroom door shut tune em out if that dont work daycare

    Answer by medic_mom242 at 10:52 PM on Apr. 10, 2009

  • I'm assuming they don't need naps, diaper changes, or a snack during these fits? If so, if all their basic needs are being met, and you feel you have shared your time and energy fairly, to the best of your ability, you go right ahead and make dinner. Maybe asking them to set the cups or silverware on the table at each place setting would help. Putting napkins at each plate? If they just refuse to do everything, just walk away, this too shall pass. My 2 yr. old is going through the, "dissagree with everthing" phase. I can't wait for this to pass. Hang in there.

    Answer by Clarkebar2 at 12:17 AM on Apr. 11, 2009

  • medic wow!

    I am begining to think this is common when you have children very close in age. My first three kids are spread our by 3,5, and 8 yrs. Yes they whined but maybe not as bad because it was pretty much one in the whiny stage at a time. My last two sons are only 13 months apart and we have a lot of this going on. Sometimes in stereo and sometimes if it is not one it is the other. They are 2 and 3 and I feel like when we go out to the park etc they are in 6 different directions. I really take my hat off to moms of multiples! I don't know how they survive the first 4 yrs. Please know this does get better. Mine did this especially if I was trying to cook dinner. They would stand at the gate and cry. So I put him in the high chair with some cheerio's so he could be near me but I could get my work done. Get creative, sounds like you are a good mom.

    Answer by salexander at 11:28 AM on Apr. 11, 2009

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