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I just found out my 14 yr old cousin is pregnant.. she trusted me enough to tell me. but is afirad to tell her mom and dad.. i told her i would be ther to support her.. and she can talk to me.. but i think her mom and dad should know.. do i have a right to tell them or should i respect how she feels.. she is not sure waht she wants to do yet.. should i jsut wait it out and let her tell them , or should i say something?

 
JrsMommy07

Asked by JrsMommy07 at 8:33 AM on Apr. 11, 2009 in Teens (13-17)

Level 10 (419 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (19)
  • I think you should talk to your cousin & prepare her for telling her parents. Then, both of you go & give them the news. If she refuses, explain to her you can only hide a pregnancy for so long until it begins to show & you "tell on yourself", explain how important prenatal care are, ect... Tell her if she wont tell. you have too because you care for her.. and ask her what would be her plan if she doesnt tell them? .. i guess make her realize telling them sooner is better.

    Educate her , but leave everything to just information.. dont give your opinion, I think her parents should be the one that gets to discuss all that with their child, since they will be the one taking care of the baby.
    Good luck. hope everything goes well for her! And hope you dont have to deal with any problems from the parents or other family members..
    MommaTasha1003

    Answer by MommaTasha1003 at 10:08 AM on Apr. 11, 2009

  • I would help tell her parents. Be there with her, sure it will be upsetting but they will work it out.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:34 AM on Apr. 11, 2009

  • Oh boy you have alot on your shoulders. Do you think mabe she told you because she figured you'd tell the parents so she didnt have to? What kind of relationship is there with your cousin and her parents? I think mabe I would tell her that you will go with her if she want but, the parents need to know by this weekend. Good luck!
    mistynights234

    Answer by mistynights234 at 8:38 AM on Apr. 11, 2009

  • wow she is young. that can be very confusing and she needs the guidance of her parents to decide what to do. obviously she trusts you and looks up to you so you can put out your opinion if you have one but until she talks to her parents the best thing you can do is tell her your opinion while trying to stay neutral about everything and be there for her.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:44 AM on Apr. 11, 2009

  • I would talk to her about all od the choices she is going to need to make (keep baby, adoption, fathers involvement, school ect...) Once you feel she is educated in a non bias way and has had time to think thing through go with her so she can tell her parents with some support and answers to her parents questions. You can be her guide. If she refuses to tell them herself then let her know that if she doesn't you will have to because in the end they need to know plus she can't hide it forever. If it comes to that give her a date that you will be telling the so that she can think about it and hopefully tell them herself. You have an opportunity to be the support that she will need especially if her parents don't take the news well. Let her know that you are there for her no matter what happens (even if in the end she gets angry with you for telling her parents)
    But_Mommie

    Answer by But_Mommie at 8:51 AM on Apr. 11, 2009

  • Really encourage her to tell her parents and tell her you'll be there when she does it.
    onethentwins

    Answer by onethentwins at 9:06 AM on Apr. 11, 2009

  • She is a minor. Her parents need to know. You can ask her if she wants you to be there with her, but her parents may prefer to deal with this without you there, it depends on the relationships among you.
    Bmat

    Answer by Bmat at 9:11 AM on Apr. 11, 2009

  • You said she is not sure what she wants to do you,give her a little time to get her thoughts together. I would just be there for her, talk to her about her options and how no matter what she decides to do it is important that she tells her parents soon and that you will help her talk to them. She is young and this is probably not the last time she is going to need an adult to turn to, if you just tell her parents she will never trust you again and then she has one less person to come to when she needs help.
    goaliemom93

    Answer by goaliemom93 at 9:15 AM on Apr. 11, 2009

  • Give her some time to get her thoughts together and think about her choices, then let her know that by a certain time, she needs to be prepared to sit down with them and talk. Be there to support her and be the mediator between them. Pray that they are supportive and don't do anything crazy. A broken heart is normal, but hopefully they will be supportive. She obviously trusts you so let her know that the best thing is to tell them as soon as shes able. YOU SHOULD NOT do it for her, but be willing to be present. Good luck.
    momofsaee

    Answer by momofsaee at 10:43 AM on Apr. 11, 2009

  • Since you know the parents, what are they like? There was a local priest who was put in the same position, and urged the girl to tell her parents. She was 13. The girl told her parents, and the father killed her after beating her to a bloody pulp.

    My point is that sometimes a child trusts another confidant for a reason. Do you know her parents will not react violently? I agree with other posters that perhaps you can encourage her, and be there when she does. But if she is adamant about not telling them, then you should not force her.
    Busimommi

    Answer by Busimommi at 11:43 AM on Apr. 11, 2009