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what to do??

My husband and I have not had sex in almost a week. I've made moves on him and done everything I could think of to get him to sleep with me but he's always like not tonight maybe tomorrow, I'm to tired. Well this morning I went to an Easter egg hunt with our daughter, and I get home and see 3 windows up of porn sites & personal ads from craigslist that show naked woman from our area. It makes me so angry. I can see using porn if I wasn't around, or something, but he's to tired to have sex with me ever, but has plenty of time to look at porn and masturbate??? And the fact that he was looking at pics of girls in our area who put ads and stuff up because they want to hook up with someone disturbs me. How should I handle this, any advice? Obviously I don't want to blow up on him, but I want to know what's going on. Thanks!

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 3:28 PM on Apr. 11, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (5)
  • The only way to know what's going through his head is to ask him. There could be a number of reasons why he doesn't want to be with you anymore. Maybe he's not attracted to you anymore. Maybe he is selfish and doesn't want to please you. Maybe he has problems being intimate with you. Him watching porn and looking for women in the area is a BIG red flag that he's looking for a sexual relationship. My best suggestion is for you to find a marriage therapist in your area and go talk to that person so you can get to the bottom of the issues that is causing him to want to run out on your marriage. If you don't get the help you need, he'll just learn to hide it better from you and it will solve nothing. Sex isn't the main issue here. Find out what the underlying issues are.

    legalmommy101

    Answer by legalmommy101 at 3:50 PM on Apr. 11, 2009

  • I agree with legalmommy, you need to have a VERY serious talk with him asap
    hautemama83

    Answer by hautemama83 at 4:00 PM on Apr. 11, 2009

  • GOOD-LUCK WITH THE THERAPY ITS A STRUGGLE TO GET OUR MEN TO EVEN TALK TO US ABOUT THERE FEELINGS LET ALONE A STRANGER.. BUT I WOULD ASK HIM IN A SAD BUT STERN WAY WHAT IS GOING ON CAUSE YOU DESERVE TO BE HAPPY AND FEEL GOOD ABOUT YOURSELF ALL THE TIME AND IF HES NOT MAKING YOU FEEL LOVED THEN MAYBE HE DOSENT DESERVE YOU ANYMORE.................
    barb777

    Answer by barb777 at 5:14 PM on Apr. 11, 2009

  • How long have you been together? Is this problem just now occuring? Maybe he has sexual needs he doesn't want to talk to you about and this is an outlet for him. Does he talk to you openly about different ideas for sexual play?
    Mallorific

    Answer by Mallorific at 5:40 PM on Apr. 11, 2009

  • Something is definetely up. I don't know how old he is, but is he possibly having trouble getting an erection or keeping it up (happens to all men sometimes). He could be bored in the bedroom, mightwant or need some spice.
    As for craigslist... I know it's weird, but my hubby and I look on there all the time in our area just to see if we recognize anyone on there. Weird hobby... but it keeps us entertained a while lol
    But we dont' do it while we're looking at porn and masturbating (if your hubby actually was). He may have just needed something to get him excited for you.
    When we're TTC, it sometimes just won't work, they're feeling like we're not in to them, just want their sperm... not sure what it is with your hubby.
    lisa_ann_p

    Answer by lisa_ann_p at 7:47 PM on Apr. 11, 2009

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