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How would you handle your SO's ex?

Here is a quick run down... nearly 3 years ago, my bf was introduced to his brothers friend "Candy". We were split for 6 months but he still called me every few days and dropped by to see me often. Eventually we were friends with our past benefits... I didnt know that he had a gf. When I found out i was angry and hurt that he used me like that and her. She found out that he was still seeing my on the side and got angry too. I have seen pics of her on his phone and she has seen pics of me in his wallet!

To this day I have never met her but we soon will. In July we are taking a trip to N.C. for my SIL's 21st bday. I lost him to her for a few months but he came back and now we have been together for over four years. I have a baby and dont want drama, just a nice vacation. I have this deep feeling that she is going to be rude somehow. I dread going.

Not sure what to say when I meet her. how would you handle this if you we


Asked by YoungandExcited at 8:39 PM on Apr. 11, 2009 in Relationships

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Answers (6)
  • It's been 4 years... I doubt she's still harboring feelings. I think you and her will both be uncomfortable for a little while, but it's all in how you handle it. You said you lost him to her for a few months... don't think of it like that... she didn't grab him by the hair of his head and drag him off... he chose to go. If you've trully forgiven him for the choices he made, you must let go of all feeling toward her. Me personally... I think it's in poor taste that your SIL invited both of you to the party and I personally wouldn't go if I knew she was going to be there, only because any bad vibes will mess up the celebration.

    Answer by lisa_ann_p at 8:53 PM on Apr. 11, 2009

  • ummm why are you meeting her at all???

    Answer by ZaTa at 8:48 PM on Apr. 11, 2009

  • I second that question.

    Answer by legalmommy101 at 8:52 PM on Apr. 11, 2009

  • if you HAVE to meet her i would just say hi, its been over 4 years as you said, so i would not even mention it. if she says anything just say something along the lines of ya who would have thought it would end up like this, or wow that was a long time ago or anything to make her see that she doesn't bother you and you are over the whole situation. even if you aren't if you give her reason to think you're not she may get defensive or say something mean

    Answer by vabchmommy at 8:54 PM on Apr. 11, 2009

  • i 3rd that question

    Answer by tnteaton at 2:14 AM on Apr. 12, 2009

  • I am meeting here because of the fact that I live across the country from SIL and will be staying as a guest for two weeks. Thanks to Lisa for the best answer. To the others three women, "Is there an option of staying in the same apt for 2 weeks and not running into them?!" no. Thanks anyways

    Answer by YoungandExcited at 1:10 PM on Apr. 13, 2009